Is This Bipolar?

I have a long history with bipolar disorder. My mother has it, and so does her mother and so on. I'm lucky enough that I don't seem to have it. I'm almost 30 now and I've never had any sort of episode. I have run of the mill depression and anxiety.

What I'm wondering about is my ex boyfriend. Unfortunately I'm in a financial situation that I still have to live with him still. I'm going to start about a year ago when things really started to get strange. I'll call him Jim for the purpose of this story

Jim had started to tell me about his problems with his memory, to the point of not being able to remember where he was or what he was doing sometimes. It was really scaring him so I convinced him to go to the dr to see what might be happening. That first trip was just to a general family MD. The dr put him on prozac to combat what she had said was anxiety. On the way back to my apartment I had to drive because he was crying too hard to do so. We had both been awake all night and when we got back to my apartment he went to lay down, but he was so upset that he couldn't sleep. I gave him part of a xanax thinking that would calm him down and help him sleep.

I had some of my girl friends over and I went periodically into the bedroom to check on him. One time the room looked empty, which freaked me out because in order to leave the room he would have had to walk by me or jump out a 2nd floor window. I started moving stuff on the bed and he was laying across the top of the bed underneath the pillows, I pulled them off and asked what he was doing and he said hiding. Later I went in there and he had the tv muted and asked me if I could hear the noise coming from the electrical outlet. Then he would cry more. The next day he was ok.

Then he started telling lies about me to my best friend and caused a huge argument between us. I thought that was just him being a douche but he claims to this day that he doesn't remember most of it and I never was able to get him to admit it to me.

Then we seemed to get trapped in a cycle. He says something really mean to me. usually about sex, most of the time it seems to be sexually motivated. He will say something that will upset me, and then when I get upset he tries to tell me that I am over reacting and that I am crazy, he tries to tell me that I have some sort of mental illness. The amount of manipulation involved is overwhelming. Then usually he starts to cry and say that he doesn't know why it happened, sometimes he says he doesn't even remember saying or doing the thing that upsets me so much.

The most recent thing he did was break my vibrators because I told him since we were broken up I didn't want to have sex with him any more. He says he didn't do it, but someone opened them up and cut the metal springs out that connect with the battery... I doubt it was the dog. Then he insisted on giving me money the other day the said that "it was way to easy for you to sweet talk me into giving you money"

I'm so drained. I don't know if this is a mental illness or just an *******.
insane000illusions insane000illusions
26-30, F
3 Responses May 23, 2012

Well... there is one line in your story that sticks out to me: When he asked you if you could hear sounds coming out of the electrical outlet. This is pretty indicative of psychosis (assuming he could hear sounds coming from the socket), and the confusion, delirium, and memory problems reinforce that. Of course, I am not a doctor and am in no way certified to make any kind of diagnosis. <br />
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Regardless, it does appear to me that your ex probably has some severe mental health issues. Psychosis is not a thing to mess around with; and if it is psychosis, the longer he goes without intervention from a mental health professional, the higher the risk that he does something he will regret the rest of his life.<br />
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Good luck in getting everything sorted out. Mental health problems are an awful affair for the people afflicted and the people around them.

Thanks for the input. I'm leaving no matter what as soon as I have the money I'm out and he knows that. But while I'm still having to deal with it I've convinced him to go back to the dr and I'm going in and asking for a referral to a psychiatrist. <br />
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At this point I'm just so curious as to what exactly is going on in that head of his. I KNOW I'm not crazy. I have my moments but I don't deserve this. And I don't think mental illness is an excuse to treat people badly. My mother always used her bipolar disorder as an excuse to treat people like dirt. <br />
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I keep telling him that having a mental disorder is nothing to be ashamed of, but that if he chooses not to get any help then he's making a choice to hurt the people that care about him. Just my opinion.

You can't know what's going in his head. Neither can psychiatrists or psychologists or any other mental health care professional. The best these professionals can do is, hopefully, make an accurate diagnosis and suggest a course of action to treat the symptoms of an ongoing episode; and help create a plan to manage and help minimize the recurrence of episodes.

This person will need plenty of support from family and friends. But if you do not wish to play a support role, then don't as it is a choice. If you do want to help, learn as much about the disorder so you have a very good idea of knowing what you are getting yourself into.

With regards to your mother's BD, a person who has this mental condition is never reasonable whenever a severe episode of mania or depression is being experienced. You saying your mom uses her BD as an excuse is being shortsighted on your part considering the majority of individuals with BD have some other personality disorder associated with BD. BD is not a personality flaw, it is a debilitating chronic mental illness that needs to be managed much like a person with diabetes needs to manage insulin levels everyday.

An ******* who can really act, but more likely mentally unhinged. And dangerous, from the sounds of it.<br />
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I truly hope you can get out of there.<br />
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I had lupus and bipolar was a part of it; mine was mild and more depressive (gee, maybe because I was in bed bored a lot?)<br />
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I think you'd know if you were mentally ill given your experiences, but I'm pretty sure he knows how to push your buttons. If it's an act, and it could be, it's because he's trying to make you think you're the crazy one. Insecure people stay with you. That could be his rationale.<br />
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The uncontrollable crying is grief over being told he does have a problem, I would bet. Guys take that really hard. Medication side effects might have a later bearing on him getting weirder; they don't all work and never all for one person.