You Can't Fix Bi-polar With Reason Or Love.

My Mom has suffers with the two extremes of Depression and Mania all my life (43). What I want to share is that "you" can never be the solution to this issue. Throughout my life, I have viewed myself as the "Lithium" that could fix my mother. I was told that I was the only one she could talk too in the Mania upswings. I took on this impossible role and put myself through hell trying to fix the chemical imbalance in her brain with love and reason. I realized after years that I was not able to fix this problem. I was happy at first when the Mania came for her. She began to get out of bed and act like normal moms. All too soon she would here voices and become irritate at the world. She was convinced that everyone and everything was out to get her. She had the uncontrollable urge to leave. She did leave me at home alone at age 8 for a week. She was diagnosed a few years later and has been on medication since. If you have a bi-polar parent or loved one, you should never take on the burden of trying to talk or listen to them back to sanity. She was a different person all together in the Mania days. I would listen to the rants for hours absorbing the negative energy and internalizing it. Bad Idea. I know now that I can't be a drug to help my Mom. If you are in a situation like mine please realize that you should not listen to the rants of the Bi-Polar person. I spent years depressed my self and have through therapy learned to release this "crazy"energy. The hardest part is that when the Mania goes back to depression my Mom wouldn't remember all the things she said to me me and others that was so hurtful. That person she would become had a way of pushing all the buttons in a hurtful way. I could never say to her how bad she hurt me in those times. I forgive and move on the best I can. If you are like me please don't try and fix these people. It is not possible and can cause you so much pain that you can't express and it manifest in other areas of your life. For me I drowned it with food. That is what I want you to know and realize before you waist years of your life like me. It is a chemical imbalance in their brain and you are not the cure.
josephsean josephsean
41-45, M
Jul 8, 2012