I was misdiagnosed with several different emotial and behaviorial disorders by the time I was 17. I gave up on medical science at around that time. however when I was 20 I gave birth to my son and I knew that i wanted to be perfect for him. His father had a drug problem and was not capable of getting it togeather so the responsibility of rested completely on my shoulders. I took it seriously. I went back to my psyciatrist and tried a new medication for bipolar disorded abilify.
My son was a difficult child, and I don't just mean he was difficult for me. I have my BA in human development with an emphisis in early childhood and I had been working with infants and young children for two years when I had my son. He didn't sleep he was impossible to sooth and he was very sensitive to external stimuli.
he got older but things didn't get any easier. He couldn't function in group learning situations nor could he handle seperation from me.
I asked his preschool teacher her opinions when he was three. She said that it seemed like there was a problem. But the feild observer who came out said he was fine, normal, just a little sensitve, insecure and very active. his problems in school were the fault of inconsistant and overly permissive parenting. I pulled him out of that school thinking that maybe a different type of environment , maybe one with less structure and small group sizes would make a difference.
well a year later his teacher at his new school came to me with the same concerns that the first teacher and I had. This time we called out an inclusion specialist and a therapist. This is when they told me that he has pediatcric on set bipolar disorder. they now believe that it is genetic. So essentially I gave my son his problems. He would probably have the same troubles that had plagued me and had nearly ruined my life. I probably would have killed myself soon if I hadn't had my son and been forced to get it togeather for someone more important than myself. And yet I passed on to him the very problem that put me in such a dark place.
Now I don't know how to feel or what to think or what to do.