It's OK to be Fallible (do/say something that might be wrong/silly/...).

So I learnt this last night.

If you hide everything you do that might be seen as a bit silly, completely stupid, or even just possibly incorrect; then you will come across to people as being 'always right'.

This perception makes it difficult for people to talk to you, to relate to you, because they know that in reality they do say silly things sometimes, and they don't know a lot about everything. From those 'silly' things, they will expect judgement from you. Then they will shy away from those important conversations, those big issues.

In actual fact, the only stupid questions are the ones that aren't asked. But there are reasons people don't ask - a compelling one is if the other person appears to disrespect you for asking, or for putting forward an idea of yours that you're not sure is right. That fear of disrespect is much higher if you yourself never put forward those ideas, where you don't know if it's right or wrong - if you are unwilling to be challenged, or be wrong yourself.

It's a strange world: it takes courage to put your ideas up to the test of other people's thinking. But, if you never do that unless you've thought it through thoroughly first, your chances of being wrong are much slimmer. Surely that makes sense, no?

The trouble with that approach is that people don't see that lack of courage, they see someone very smart and they fear to put their ideas out on the table in front of you: they might be judged harshly if they are wrong. So, conversation skips around superficially, and you will never be able to "talk" to that person to the same degree when things go wrong.




So, what do we do about it? Say how we feel. Say what we feel. Say what we are thinking. Everybody is human, we all know this. We all know that we each have our own hillarious moments dancing for joy when we get a letter from X, or when we burst into song. Those are not things to be afraid of - they are a part of us. To hide it, is to hide ourselves - and that is where mistakes happen: people think you are someone you are not, and conflicts happen.

Be straight, be you, voice up your thoughts and feelings to the world. They are no cleverer or more stupid than those of the next person - we are (contrary to popular belief) all human.

Those that care that you look silly from time to time, don't matter. Those that matter, don't care.

There are enough people in this world that you will find enough people who are happy with you, and can feel free to ditch those who find it weird. There might be benefits to maintaining cordiality with them, e.g. if they look after your car for you on the weekends - but there's no need to worry about what they think. That's their perogative. Yours is to be you.

Stand tall, speak proudly, you are the product of millions of years of evolution - just like the guy standing next to you. Equals. Just because they don't see it that way, doesn't mean you can't.

Live long and #EPKungFu
~CoL~
cloudsoflife cloudsoflife
31-35, M
Aug 24, 2014