I Know He Still Loves Me.

Last few weeks I have been having problem with my health concerning my monthly period, i used to have my period every month for the past years and it's been 3 weeks now but I still dont have it, my husband isn't with me right now so trust me I know there is no way to get pregnant cause i'm the wife who dont cheat, loves her husband and has fear in our Lord. I've been going to the hospital and seeing my OB, i'm taking  medicines she prescribed but until now nothing happened yet .. I've been praying and praying to God about this because it really bothers me a lot, until couple of days praying for my ealing became few days, few days became weeks and still nothing happened and I feel like God dont hear me when I pray, I felt so hurt about that thought, so in days I've been so cold to Him and I feel like He dont really care about me.. Last couple of days, something happened again, i dont know if saying this will bother you people but I had to say it. My stool has white spots, at first I didn't care but the second time I poop, there's the white spot again, i am having upper abdominal ache but still I remained cold to God about this, but I told Him "God save me from myself" because I am aware I am changing in terms of my spiritual, I can not longer communicate through praying, when I pray I feel so empty, I dont feel the holy spirit that I used to feel everytime I pray before. But a while ago at last, I found myself coming back. A while ago I am having pain in my stomach again and I feel like I want to use the bathroom, I was scared to see the white spots again there if I poo, I was restless, bothered, scared until I cried, until I cried to Him, I told Him I am scared, I told Him i'm sorry and to forgive me, I told him I cannot be like this, I cannot hold my feelings wanting to talk to Him like this and tell Him my fears and worries, I told Him everything I am feeling, the fears, the worries, I asked for healing. After few minutes after I prayed, I decided to not hold it anymore and I went to use the bathroom, I was scared but when i saw my stool, there's no white spots anymore :), I was so thankful to our God, I know He loves me and He listens, the moment I turned to Him and tell Him all my fears and ask for healing He gave it. Still I am having problems with my period but I know I am already healed. :), despite of the coldness I put towards Him and the sins I have made, He healed and forgive me and I know He still loves me

Kuleyy1130 Kuleyy1130
22-25, F
Mar 11, 2010