Perceptions Are Puzzling

People talk about perception as if it were a way to affirm their individuality, to release themselves from the confines of others expectations. Those motivations can lead to a fuller experience but there is another side to this. We might think the imagination frees us, as if the brain were a holographic playground. I have found that it can be the opposite. Chesterton said that people, as it were, crawl into a shoebox paint the sun moon and stars on the inside and pretend it is the real world. Well let me tell you I love having a vivid imaginative world. It provides "slack" an insulating space between me and the hard edge of reality. This shoebox was shut originally. I had to protect myself. Now that it is open I like an amphibion can go in and out. It is a lot more comfortable Still there are perceptions that I cannot sort out. This comes from being raised in an environment replete with double-binds where I was told what to feel. It does not bother me as long as I do not focus on it and try to figure it out. When I do my emotions and thoughts (perceptions) contradict each other For instance I know people miss the ones they love and long to see them I do not. I never get lonely but occasionally feel isolated. I love but so often cannot feel it. It is as if some part of my emotional spectrum were missing not all. It is like being color blind where you can see half the colors but not the other. So I live instinctively flowing or surfing through experience thinking but not too deeply about myself. It's better than being too self absorbed. Sometimes thinking can get in the way of living.
ShastaStar ShastaStar
Jun 20, 2010