But Really, First Impressions Matter Way Too Much And I'm Getting Sick Of It.

I don't know what people expect early on in a relationship.
I don't know the first thing about setting a proper first impression.
I don't understand what normal even is.
I don't know why I rub some people as "Creepy" at first when most people who do a lot of internet socialization find  me normal.

I'm sick of it, in so many ways. I'm sick of bigoted ***** who have intimiately tied weridness with creepiness.

I've been accused of all kinds of **** that was not true... I used to do things that might of earned me a bit of a bad reputation but you know what? I cleaned up my act and aside from writing a lot, to people I'm not doing anything exceptionally "Wrong" according to the rules.

I saw my old best friend send his new girlfriend to attack the old one and I found myself throwing up, because i wanted to do that for so long and when i saw it happen it really grossed me out. When I realized I had screamed at a few of them after the fact I Felt like a bad person. Self reflection.

I know everything in my past that could make me a swamp walker, and I know that its in the past. The worst I am is someone who writes too much, or too many thoughtful letters to the same person and yet some people just cut you out for that, instead of communicating that you're talking too mcuh. No words, nothing. you're gone. I have had to mediate quite a bit. I don't write the one I love ore than every few days. Too bad facebook ***** up and dumps them all on her at once. it's not good when you hear facebook djumped 11 on her at once. I try. I try not to write except once every few days an no more than a paragraph when I Do. Does not matter-the god damn site glitches.

I hate this ******* ****.... I Hate people sometimes. Their judgemental garbage. Yes I know I look bad because I am addicted to the internet and always want to be near a computer. I KNOW. Does that automatically have to mean I am going to kill you when you sleep though? seriously. Yes I borough. Yes I want a lot of space sometimes.  Yes some days I will only talk to certain people rather than my whole circle. usually only whoever I am in love with. Why do people assume the worst about shut ins who hole up?

why do people think we all need LIGHT in order to not kill people? People and their assumptions just **** me off. I assure you I am normal within the boundaries of not going out much. when I DO go out  I am not spaz like, I am not agoraphobic, and I don't react poorly to being forced into public. I'm a mostly normal person who treasures the honesty of the internet. 


ManifestoOfThePhoenix ManifestoOfThePhoenix
31-35, M
1 Response May 24, 2012

Gosh we are soul sisters.

To a degree- we both think there is way too much emphasis on first impressions.