Raped At 13 And 14 Years Old By My Aunt And Guitar Teacher

When I was 13 years old I was raped by my maternal Aunt. She's 10 years younger than my Mother and is a social studies teacher at a Jr High School.

During the summer when I was 13 years old, I stayed with my Aunt because my Mom and Dad were relocating to another base. I was an Army brat. During that summer my Aunt started to fondle me and then proceeded to perform oral sex on me. As the summer progressed she got more aggressive and was using a vibrator and putting it up my rectum. She said it was to stimulate my prostate. I was 13 years old for Christ's sake. I didn't know a prostate from an ovary at that age! This situation occurred 4-5 times weekly, My Aunt made me perform oral sex on her every time she wanted sex. We had intercourse over 200 times.

I was sodomized and raped by my Aunt. This did a real mind **** on me. Shame, guilt and depression hit me like a freight train. I kept quiet.

When I turned 14 I was immersed in music, it was my only solace from the pain I felt due to what had happened to me. I had few friends and had become a loner. How could I confide in anyone with my darkest secret?

My Mom had a friend that was a career university student who taught guitar. This woman was 36 years old and had never held a full time job in her life, she was a trust fund princess. I began guitar lessons 2 times per week with her the summer when I turned 14.

Kate is the guitar teacher's name. She is sort of a new age hippie with all the old posters and kitsch from the 1970's in her loft apartment.

After my 4th lesson, I learned who she really was. When I was packing up my guitar she came out from behind the Japanese character screen that separated her bed from the rest of the loft . She was nude. She had been smoking pot and was in a fit of giggles. She asked me if I wanted to see her tattoo's, so I said yes and she showed them to me. We had sex twice a week for 3 months.

Hell, I was beginning to feel good about myself. I was a real man now, shagging a woman who was kinky and adventurous. The problem still remained, I was 14 years old. She was 36 years old. I thought I was a lucky young man. I was dead wrong. It really messed up my mind.

My skills in dealing with girls my own age were non-existent. I sank into a deep depression and ended up being locked up in a mental ward for a few months while they force fed me Prozac and other psychotropic drugs.

When I told the psychologist about what had happened to me, she questioned my recollection of events. Not even a psychologist gave credence to my nightmare.

That experience taught me that women believe only what they want to believe as long as it somehow pertains to them or their gender. I learned not trust women. They used the most sensitive secrets of my life and my naive innocence and used them to harm me.

Male suffering and rape is either non-existent to women or it is a source of humor as evidence by so many articles and tv shows that make fun of men who are raped or cast shame on the men who report the crime. Women that rape and get busted and tried in court get a slap on the wrist compared to male offenders.

The 4 girlfriends I've in my life since I was 15 were a mixed bag. When I told them what had happened to me as a young male teenager, 2 got freaked out and dumped me on the spot. One stopped seeing me without a call or any communication, and the last one was the touchy-feely sort that kept digging, trying to get me to admit that it was my fault I was raped and that I wanted it. She was a new age feminist and as I found out later from some shared friends, she was into the dominatrix bdsm scene. I'm glad I had the courage to dump her. She is a sick and twisted woman.

Since then I've been playing the hookup game and end up feeling like **** after a few times with the same woman. I have a real problem opening up emotionally to women now because of all the **** that happened to me when I was younger. Having girls call you a perv because you were raped by your Aunt and Teacher tends to put up a steel wall between my secrets and women who supposedly want men to be open and emotionally honest with them. The times I have been open and forthright, I got **** on. So much for women being the more empathetic gender.

So that's where I stand. When women finally admit that men get damaged by rape as much as they do, perhaps they will see men in a different light.

As long as women make fun of men who get raped, or turn a blind eye when it happens to men and boys they know, men will close themselves off to women. How else are you going to protect yourself from psychological harm?
painofshame painofshame
36-40, M
7 Responses Nov 17, 2012

Good afternoon. I am a female, and I sincerely offer you my sympathy. I agree and understand most of the situations that you explained here. Unfortunately, you have met with mostly unsensitive women in your life. I pray that hevean will chance you one day to meet with a real goodhearted woman who will take you seriously. I am sorry that these female monsters did what they did to you, and that you could not even tell your parents about the matter. I am sorry. It is not much, but this is all I can offer as a token of understanding and sympathy.

You are not totally messed up in your mind, since you have learned some absolute truths about the wretched double-standard in gender matters in America. If you are able to pray, perhaps God can help you heal more than anyone, as He knows your thinking and what is deep inside you in all of this.

As for women, yes, some can be vicious and very male-hating, almost feeding off of the pain of men for some reason. Women do seem to want men to be more "feeling", etc. but the jovial, cruel disposition some have when exposed to men's hurts can send things flying in the opposite direction. I know of a woman who did some pretty bad sh*t against a guy working for her, then gossiped about him to his coworkers if he opened up to her, which got one of more of them really PO'd at him just because he'd told his boss the truth. Well, then he didn't want to "open up" anymore, but she pretended she wanted him to talk things over with her. He knew what that meant from then on: trouble.

It ain't been easy, but I've come out stronger because of my past abuse. I still have issues, but don't we all?

Man u should have ******* enjoyed that u dumb *** ***** i would have ****** them i don't give a **** about it and **** u ***** *** ************.

I am sorry this has happened to you. It seems that you have been let down repeatedly. You are now a adult and need to make sure you do better than your rapists or care provders.

Best wishes

I'm a sexual abuse survivor myself...and the nastiest thing about it was the arousal. THAT caused me to split an alter off to deal with the sexual portion of the abuse alone, while the rest of us took turns dealing with the physical abuse.I think that...it's terrifying for anyone to think that their own body could respond against their will with arousal and ******, even while their mind and heart are breaking.<br />
I'm very sorry you went through what you went through, and I wish you well.

I have since learned that arousal in males is not always sexual in nature. Blood pressure changes, stress, intense fear, and a host of other things can cause male erections. Your body did not respond against your wishes, it just responded as a biological being. Do you remember being younger and getting an erection for no reason? No sexual stimulation or something else? I do.

There's the incredible double standard when a woman rapes a man, he got an erection, so he must of wanted it or consented. An erection DOES NOT imply consent for the woman to rape you. The idea of women being sexually aroused and brought to ****** when being raped was thrown out of court a long time ago. Men are still seen as being ***** chasing hounds, even when they are 12 years old.

Yep,...as evidenced by how female teachers are treated after seducing school-boys versus how male teachers are treated is in any way having sex with a student.

The best revenge - is to live your life the best you can - when you don't - the rapist - (in their mind will call you crazy, etc) - so they don't have to accept blame or guilt over their crime.....but when u get well, are happy and healthy - it drives them nuts (the rapist) and they tend to go downhill, ie: engaging in drugs, alcohol, etc.....

I say DO IT - get healthy in spite of these bastards !!

Speaking of this - I loved it - Oprah (maybe 1 -2 years ago) - had about 100+ men - they all stood in silence at her set - holding a picture of themselves at the age - when they were raped....

It was really good and Tyler Perry - is that his name - he was on there too and talked about his story, etc.....

So sorry this happened to you - hope that your aunt and her associates are in Jail ! I believe you!

"As long as women make fun of men who get raped, or turn a blind eye when it happens to men and boys they know".......my guess - your horror triggered them - ie: they have some unresolved issues, (something bad happened to them - or they witnessed it happening to a sibling, etc).....

I believe you - nothing surprises me - I had clients that were involved in Satanic Cults - they indoctrinate them starting as an infant - brainwashed and most of these clients dissociated from their horror - ie: blocked out the memories and created personalities to handle the mind $@$#.

I'm married now and it has been a rocky path. Sometimes I get flashbacks, really scary stuff. I've worked through a diagnosis of PTSD and am on the mend, and most likely will be for the rest of my life.

I did persue charges against my Aunt and former music teacher. The statute of limitations was in question, add to the fact that I was hospitalized when I was younger and the criminal case was a iffy proposition for the prosecutor to prove. The prosecutors and government are willing to go back decades to charge Catholic priests and convict them, yet when a man is a victim of female on male rape, sodomy, and statutory rape, he is ignored. This is par for the course and it really has affected my ability to trust more than a few women in my life.

The double standards employed by society and the law regarding female on male rape and sexual abuse is plainly misandric. This is not the patriarchy that feminists rail about.