Lost In The Past And Worried About My Future

Im am a 23 year old streight guy. I was gay raped by a man in the middle of the town after waiting for a taxi home after nightclubbing. My friends had gone home and while i was waiting for my taxi i was manipulated into walking away with a guy that claimed he was leading me to the next nearest taxi parking bay. I was extreamly drunk and had no controle or any way of defending myself. After the first attack he did it again minutes later leaving me half naked and unconsious. Luckly he was caught that same night and i was recued by the police due to CCTV. However i woke up the next morning im a hospital bed confused and oblivious to what had happened. Long story short i kept this quiet and followed it trhough to court and put him away for a long time. However the after effects have been much harder to deal with, im on deppresion tablets and am unable to work as a witness told my ex work mates who it was on about in the papers as i want to remain annymus. People asked me questions about it when i returned to work and i had to leave as i could not handle the pressure of telling evryone. its been 2years now and i still have not got the confidence to go back to work. i dont sleep often(its 4:45am now) and as well as suffering with depprssion and anxiety im in dept and have not enough income to help me get out of it. in order to get out of it i would have to go to work...but i am still too ill to go. having my depression and anxity, worrying about money is delaying my recovery. This is a REALY shortened version of my true feelings, but i shall say i dont know who i am anymore and im only living for my family. In my mind i only exist.
I have copied the newspaper clipping for you to read also.

A SEX beast who twice raped a drunken young man in a Rotherham street is a very real danger to young men, a court heard.

(Rapests name) was locked up indefinitely at (A city) Crown Court for the attack in which he victim was treated "like a rag doll."

Judge (name) told him: “This is a case where there was the grossest sexual attack in a public place that resulted in not only physical harm but dire psychological damage.“It was a sustained and at times brutal sexual assault.

"You physically manipulated him, at times like a rag doll.

“You raped him twice, on occasions he was unconscious, unaware of his situation, unable to balance himself.

“This was predatory sexual behaviour in the town centre and you were totally unrestrained.

“Let it be known that this young man neither asked, consented nor took part or enjoyed any of this. He was simply abused by you to the fullest extent.”

(Rapists name and address), initially denied the April 18 rape. He only altered his plea at the September trial, minutes before his victim had been due to take the stand.

In mitigation, (his lawer) described (rapist) behaviour as entirely out of character and said he had quit drinking since being bailed.

She added: “He accepts that the complainant was in a considerably worse position for alcohol than he. He doesn’t make any attempt to justify what happened on that night. He is remorseful.

“He’s a young man who has never previously found himself before any court or in any police station.

“He is from a very respectable background and is not someone who, on his release, will be left to his own devices and struggle to rebuild his life by himself.”

(His Lawer) submitted a report from a psychologist, who suggested that(rapist) did not pose a danger to the public under Criminal Justice Act.

But the judge said: “This was committed by the defendant, in my judgement, in full knowledge of the fact that the victim was incapable of giving consent or knowing what was happening.

“In my judgement he still doesn’t take responsibility for that which he did. He represents a real danger to young men.”

(rapist), dressed smartly in a suit in court, was given an indeterminate prison sentence for public protection.

He cannot be considered for parole for at least four years and will be on the sex offenders’ register for life.


I have put in brackets names and other data to hide my identity. But even though i know i did the right thing. i am still mentally suffering 2 years later

cjnx123 cjnx123
22-25, M
1 Response Nov 28, 2012

This is gonna sound harsh. But get of your lazy *** and work. Itll actually help you forget itll keep your mind busy and get it of the other things. Stop screaming victem and start doing something about it

HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT TO HIM!!! THIS POOR MAN WAS A VICTIM OF A HORRIBLE CRIME AND YOU HAVE NO COMPASSION FOR SAYING THAT TO HIM! OBVIOUSLY, YOU HAVE NEVER EXPERIENCED ANYTHING LIKE THIS. NEXT TIME YOU WERE BRUTALLY RAPED, TELL ME HOW YOU GOT OVER IT WITHOUT TAKING ANY ILLEGAL DRUGS TO HELP DULL YOUR PAIN!