Raped In My Teens

For reasons I won't go into here, I started cross-dressing in my teens. When I was 17, we were on holiday and I was walking alone along a beach at dusk, wearing a summer dress. A man approached me, presumably trying to pick me up, but when he got close enough to get a good look at me, he soon figured out what he was dealing with. A few minutes later, he came back with a friend. They dragged me off the beach to a secluded area in the shadows...and they took turns with me. I was so scared when they first grabbed me, but when I understood what they wanted...I have never felt so revolted. And there was nothing I could do to stop them - one of them had a knife - so I had to submit. I actually had to co-operate with the bastards as we got into a suitable position for sex - the pain when the first one penetrated me was beyond description - then, as the pain eased a little, I had to just lean against the wall (with my first rapist, we did it face to face, him standing up and me with my legs wrapped around him) and endure the protracted horror of the sex act. Even with a knife at my throat, it was all I could do not to struggle - the disgust at having his erection inside me was almost more than I could bear. But I had to grit my teeth and bear it. And it went on, and on, and on - the minutes seemed like hours. Then he finally came. He made me look him in the eye as he did so - at that moment, looking at that vacant expression on his face as he had his ****** and pumped his slime into me, I could have killed him. Thankfully, the other one raped me from behind - it didn't hurt so much, and I didn't have to look at him.

Even 30 years later, I can relive it like it was yesterday. And I'm still so bloody angry. Angry that they forced me to do it, angry that they got away with it, and angry that there's not a damn thing I could do about it then or now.
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2 Responses Jan 7, 2013

I replied to your question and I urged you to seek therapy.
I too was raped at age 17.
Now I understand a little more about the situation and I still urge you to seek therapy.
The anger you feel will undermine your emotional life and prevent you from resolving other issues you have. e.g. with crossdressing.
For many years I felt guilt and shame, particularly as my body reacted positively without me really wanting to.
In some ways you would like to go back to your pre-rape state but that is just impossible. You have to accept the fact of it and you need to talk about it so that you can process these feelings, rather than repressing them all the time.
I wish you luck and hope you can find some form of resolution.

the sad truth is yes it does and the system could care less

the same thingk happened to my best friend he was 11 years old and playing inhis front yard when some other boys from the area put a bag over his head and started to hit and kick him then the took him into the wood by hie home and took turns raping him for over an hour

they told the police it did not matter as he was a sissy boy and nothing was done then about it or them other then his mother moved and he started 8 th grade in the school i went too i was ask to be his escort for the first few days
that last till his death at age 19

in march 8 th grade i was trusted by him and his mother and grandparents and told the truth thathe was a sssiy or acted like a sissy as he realy was a gilr that was just born different with out parts or parts on the out side of his body which was the scares
in june of that year we became lovers in dec he /she becamemy wife atthe old age of 13

we never looked back

we did run into those boys at a high school swim meet as my wife ask the leader if he was still raping little boys and he knew or she was and toldher she was a cute sissy now and went to touch her and it was all over for them and 4 of the 5 got the S&&& beat out of them and the leader and one other so called leader 2 of the girls from our groupplayed football with a few time

yes we had to leave the swim meet but it was allon film that they started the fight

Robert/ Roberta
1/14/1967 gave her life for a country that could care less