Won't Take Me To A Wedding

I've been going out with my bf for almost 3 years. A couple of days ago he receives an invitation to his best friend's sister's wedding. So I ask him if he's allowed to have dates and tells me that he is. So I assume "Oh cool a wedding to go to" I'm excited that we finally get to go to a formal event with him and you know feel kind of like he's showing me off to his friends. Then I realized that he really didn't formally invite me so I ask just to make sure and he's like " Yeah I'm excited to have you there." but I got the feeling that he isn't that excited. So later that night I asked him flat out, "I feel like you don't want me there and you are ashamed to be seen with me when you're hanging out with your friends" He replies," Yeah I kind of am because you act weird around them. You never say anything." So then I try to explain what I said on the background below:

So here's the background on that:
I used to be great friends with his friends in fact they're the reason we met. But since we started going out I've just seen a different side of his friends. They smoke weed & I don't so I wouldn't go outside with his 4 guy friends and his friend's gf. I'd stay inside. I don't mean to act anti-social I just honestly don't enjoy the smell and inhaling the smoke. He gets mad that I'm not out there socializing with them but honestly what am I going to say when all they're doing is just laughing at anything. So I stay quiet. I have been trying to say more things when it's a group setting but I just don't think his friends want me there. I try to talk to his friend's gf but she always keeps her answers short. I do better when I''m talking one-on- one but I swear the moment it's a group setting I try to only say something when I have something good to say.

He then changes his reasoning and says that "Well it's suppose to be just us guys. No one is bringing their girlfriends." And I say," Well Jane (*changed name) is going (she's the gf of his bf) which is understandable but I feel like it's not really all boys if she's going.
So I tell him that I'm excited to go to a formal event so he can show me off as his gf and he laughs in my face and says, " So that's the real reason you want to go... You're jealous." I'm hurt that I tell him something that I've been looking forward to and he just laughs and turns it into I have jealousy problems. (I do get jealous normally because he cheated on me one time a year into our relationship but this was actually something I was happy to go be part of)

Am I overreacting for him wanting a "boy's night" as he says or is he being insensitive & really actually ashamed to be with me?
vanillawafers123 vanillawafers123
3 Responses May 24, 2012

Having just read your post was going to say that you would be better off without him, but having seen that you have, I just want to say that you will find someone who respects and values the wonderful person you are, so don't settle for anyone who will treat you like that you, your worth more than that!

Thank you for those kind words. Literally just made me tear up. I just hope it doesn't take years for me to find that person.

Just remember there is a guy out there that will treat you like the princess you are, and if it takes a while, don't dispare, i believe everyone has their other half out there... but don't sit back either, embrace opportunities, after all you never know where you will find your prince! Good luck my friend, hugs,

Thank you for this but I think I found my answer when I asked him about it. He says his feelings for me has changed and over the weekend we broke up.

Thanks Michelle at this point its what i am trying to drill into my head

i dont think you are overreacting, i think u should just let him do what he likes and when the time is right talk to him about all this, without getting angry, or blaming him for something... and i think u should be a part of them even if u dont like the smell bcz sometimes u have to sacrifice alot to get what u really want.. best of luck and i hope he takes you to the wedding:)