I Feel Sorry For Him

He has been doing girls and boys... He came clean with it all out on the table to my mother and I; but my father still does NOT know that he has actually had sex with a guy anally penetrating another GUY... He slept with a girl too because he is so to say confused about what he really is; and calls "bi" whenever someone brings up the topic "gay".

Honestly I could NOT care less whether he slept with a guy or a girl; what I do care about is him throwing his life away by jumping into bed with anyone he LUSTS AFTER; with LOVE nowhere in the picture.

I mean you should really Love someone before you sleep with them otherwise you are just soiling yourself and you would regret it later on; you will also get unnecessary attachments you cannot easily shake off; because you tricked them into thinking you actually Loved them.

To save people pain; I think it is best to think twice before just jumping into the cot with anyone you just happen to find attractive... For instance my brother did not really feel anything for the guy or girl; he just USED THEM for sexual experimentation and that IS just f_u_c_k-ked up okay...

Or maybe he just does NOT feel things as deeply as I do... I felt ugly and filthy touching someone I did not even love... I felt dirty and ashamed doing something with someone I EXPOSED my body (temple of my soul) to who just used me for a one second thrill.

I just do not care whether it is a male or female he f_u_c_ked; I do however feel disgusted in him using people like that and sharing his body with people who either do not LOVE either or do love him which he just drops... He goes into clubs and stuff and makes out with everyone there too. He also says he does not want to get attached or Love at all since no one is good enough for him so he is going to stick with lust because of the unworthiness of others.

I just find his behaviour outrageous and self-destructive.

One day he would regret living such a loose life... Because if it was ME I WOULD HAVE HATED MYSELF MORE WITH EACH NEW F_u_ck seeing my Body as FILTHY; soiled and made impure... I could not live with myself.

Also I think he knows he is GAY now; especially since he had to go from girl p_u_ssy to male arse, obviously women just did not do it for him and he just had to take his experimentation of self-discovery a step further... He also dyes his hair; he has slim shoulders and is VERY VERY thin...he has like no body fat at all looking like some male twinkie wh/o/re any gay bear would like to f_u_c_k... He also wears bracelets and ear rings in both ears; he just has weird manners bordering on EMO or goth like feeling sorry for himself and acting out to show the world his pain etc.

I feel sorry for him that he is seeking LOVE in LUST which he would obviously regret as my mom said: "once a woman knows you have been with a man she would never want a relationship with you; she would always know you like males more than females!!!"

He is also in the wrong crowd of people; gays have become his only real MATES... He feels they truly understand him and he can only be open among them.

He also said he does not want a wife and will adopt children.

I am just scared he would take his experimental phase too far and GET terribly hurt in the process - because he would later on after not thinking he is FUNNY any more like he is currently doing priding himself on his gayness and immoral acts; regret sleeping around and giving his body to people he does not even REALLY KNOW.

I feel if you are really GAY then wait for the right one; do not go and soil your bodily integrity on people who do not even care for you but only for the temporary satisfaction they can get from you... Do not BOINK people who are NOT serious in respecting your BODY and soul...because doing the whole f-u-cking around is NOT LOVE only games of lust where your body is used and your soul abused - the after effects would usually kick in much later and then regret would kick in strongly and you would not know where to hide your head from what you have done!!!!!!
indigowitch indigowitch
22-25, F
May 25, 2012