Alone

It actually took me awhile to realize that. Movies and books make you naive, only fairytales and fantasies, that’s all it is.
 I always thought that once I’ve suffered enough an angel would appear out of nowhere and look at me with angelic eyes full of kindness while he lays his hand on my palm and tell me that everything will be ok. I truly believed that life couldn’t treat me as bad as it did. I honestly never ever thought that life would be capable to do it, that there would be some universe-law to make that kind of suffering impossible. But I’m all grown up now and I’ve realized that life is capable to do just that, make you suffer. I know life can’t be perfect and that in order to learn and grow we need imperfection, we need pain to a certain degree but… some things that I have witnessed, some things that has been done… there was no… nothing to it. Just pure darkness and evil, no message, no nothing. Like Hannibal eating his victim, what message and growth can anybody get out of it? And if there is such thing as evil souls and hell, and their mission is to do evil then why would … why would it be possible to ruin not just a life but a spirit, if that spirit belongs to God? If that spirit believes in God and devotes his life to God then why would God let that happen to him, I just don’ t get it. Things that have been done are so horrible that no matter what messaged you learn from it, it wouldn’t be worth it- the loss is greater. That kind of hell is not worth anything. I have realized that life is doing just that to people all around the world every day, every minute every second. Horrible, horrible things. And it frightens me. Anything happening to them can happen to me. Selfish I know. But let’s admit it, we all think we are special and different and unique. Fact is, there are 7 billion people out there and you and I blend just right in, this site proves it. So why would an angel save you or me when it didn’t save any of those 7 billion people? I guess it won’t and I guess I just realized that. 
AviatorHH AviatorHH
18-21, F
2 Responses May 20, 2012

i love a good yarn. i dont read for knowledge i read for entertainment. i love escaping with a movie, b/c its easy. i love escaping with a book b/c they take me deeper. crazy unexplainable things happen alot. i think the knowledge and science that we use every day is given the credit more than it deserves. it may make it more important now than any other time in history to really stop and look around at people doing "average" things to see how un-average the effect of their actions are. ep could be considered a place where we all get together and whine. whatever... it makes me feel so much better just typing it for all you anonymous pervs, so **** it, imma type it!<br />
on a side note: couldn't anyone of those 7 billion shitbags be an angel? right time and place + doing the right thing = angelic? amirite

please read my story a hole inside