A Lot of Pain Affects the Soul.

I have experienced the darkness of pain.  There have been times of deep despair.  The complete lost of hope had shattered my whole being and has caused my foundation of personal beliefs to shatter.  It was a two year effort in peeling away my layers to find what was really there.

But that was only the beginning to a life of hell.  It was another ten years of being in and out of the hospital to deal with family and life's abuse.  My inner core, my soul had been damaged as an infant on through to adulthood.  The worst of it all has been abuse by a satanic occult.  I have spent many years of pain and fear dealing with this.  The aftermath of this experience continues to haunt me, not only in my nightmares, but in daily living.  Once the doors have been opened it's a struggle to keep them closed.

Do not misunderstand me, it has nothing to do with how deep my spirituality is.  It is not I who open up the doors.  For the 3rd major time now I have fought demons, going into the darkness, and my Higher Powers and entities who protect me has been my guardians.  I have seen my Angels fighting them.

Now I'm thinking about the gift of pain.  My gift has been of acceptance so I can fight the evil.

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11 Responses Mar 26, 2009

Hi I'm new but not new to pain! Ok first the good ting about pain <br />
yes there is something good about pain, it makes you appreciate <br />
those moments how ever few when you are not in pain a bit like<br />
You can't appreciate the sun chine on a worm day with out the rain <br />
Before I had an amputation of my left leg I would sit whit a <br />
handful of my strongest painkillers asking dear God give me just 10<br />
More min. Just 10 that was in 2004 -2006 when I finely had an <br />
amputation done. I'm new on stronger medesin and truly <br />
appreciate the moments when I'm pain free! <br />
I would appreciate hearing from someone that have found<br />
different ways of copying!

pain of courage also leaves us full of faith , harder the struggle the more glorious the victories ,,

not really

the best is something that have never been in my life

i do not speak only for myself in fact less for myself and more for others

no you can't not always i've seen it in too many eyes, heard it in too many voices <br />
seen the wrekage in too many lives

well and my point is that distruction is not always neccisarry <br />
<br />
and you do not come out of it without being severly damaged <br />
<br />
pain does no alwways make someone look at their stulf and deal with it but forces them to look at it and it swallow them

thats what people say- doesn't mean its true <br />
<br />
pan only distroys you makes you rememeber the worst of things

pain only breaks you and NOT in a good way

huh??? <br />
<br />
and pain is never a gift

You don't want Sympathy!...I won't allow myself to give it to <br />
<br />
....... you!<br />
<br />
Love is the biggest force to be used, YOU have MINE!