A Too Stupid And Ungrateful And Inconsiderate TeenagerNot too many weeks ago, an 18 year-old girl who'd fanned me and who i'd friended back weeks earlier and who seemed polite enough after several late night conversations was online in the early a.m. hours. I saw her mood was negative--"very sad" or something similar. So i messaged her. Like many under-21 girls, she kept answering my questions with incomplete sentences of only a small number of words. Finally, i understood from her that her mother was in the hospital after a suicide attempt--one of a number of previous ones, and her father wasn't totally competent (although i don't recall the details--perhaps that he drank heavily or had been in prison). Notwithstanding her living with her family in the U.K., i assumed she--who'd impressed me as a nice young lady--was unfortunately in a very disfunctional family situation, something i am regrettably experienced with. Because of how i am, i wanted to attempt to help out in some kind of advisory way and to let her know i'd be there for her time-wise and emotionally. Each of her replies were 15-25 minutes or so after my messages. I'd earlier apologized for my replies being late because of signal problems--an ongoing issue of mine, and i guessed she was probably having some kind of similar, unavoidable problem. So all the while i was waiting for each of her replies, i was reading my circle's activity posts. Lo and behold, i see that all her delays in replying to my messages were because she was corresponding with another girl as young as she about the subject of heavy metal songs and music--her favorite song, which group she liked, etc. Whoa, horsey! So, i messaged her how inconsiderate she was being to me and that a young lady her age should at least show appreciation for my time that i was giving her to help her with her problems by not leaving me hanging while entering unrelated, trivial conversations. I expected to at least receive some sort of apology from her. No. She berates me for disrespecting her privilege of corresponding with a "good friend" of hers during her conversation with me and tells me that she told me personal information about her family in reply to my questions "that i really didn't have to tell you. Besides, i didn't ask for your help, anyway. You just kept asking me personal questions that were none of your business." Believe me, i tend to avoid befriending under-21 year-olds because of thier usual short attention spans and thier priorities being out of whack, but after this stupid little still-wet-behind-the-ears snotnose, i was ready to give up on offering my help to teenagers with problems i assume serious because of thier profile posts--things like "all i do is sit in my room and cry," "i don't care about life any more," and other such statements. And this would've been after the several teenage girls i've spent time corresponding with--mainly to give them the emotional support i thought they so desperately wanted and needed and asked for and thanked me for, but almost all of whom soon grew tired of talking about thier problems and told me so. With these young girls, many of whom i now believe are "crying wolf," i often feel a fool for not simply taking the attitude that is refererred to in Yiddish as, "Fub'm b'fufkit"--or even "gai'n cokk'n in da hoisen."
eleanorssong 56-60, F 6 Responses 2 Mar 13, 2012