My friend Nikki commited suicide on November 24, 2008 at the age of 14. She suffered from depression for about 3 years before it happened, her dad was a psychiatrist as well. I didn't find out that it happened until about a month later because i was out of town and i was crushed, especially because i didn't get to attend her funeral. For a while i wondered... why? she was so beautiful, she had such caring parents and sibling's, great friends and she was kinda wealthy. Then i realized that was a dumb question to ask myself, i know the pain of depression firsthand.. i even tried to commit suicide so how could i even wonder? It's been almost 4 yrs since she died and i still think of her almost everyday, sometimes i long to be with her again. If i had a chance i would trade my life to get her back. I struggle every day to keep living and to have at least a little bit of hope that someday, things will get better... but it's always easier to just hope and wish.
roseofthedevilsgarden roseofthedevilsgarden
26-30, F
9 Responses Mar 12, 2012

My daughter died of suicide a year ago. I wrote a book on how Im recovering from it. Let me know if you'd like to chat, or have any questions :)

Did you ever figure out why she was depressed?

She had bipolar disorder.

"she had such caring parents"<br />
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Hey be careful to assume that because her parent(s) may have looked on the surface to be respectable people of society that they indeed were... I am just saying doctors can be shittty parents when they are bat shittt crazy themselves. You never know what goes on behind closed doors of another individual; especially if you can't talk about what happens (abuse) in your house with other people because your father is a doctor and you got to protect his reputation type of thing... Same with your father being a lawyer but a criminal etc. <br />
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I am just saying "depression" doesn't just come out of nowhere...there is a root and cause to anything; how do you know she wasn't abused by her father that might have been an alcoholic, pill popper and pedo in his spare time???

just goes to show depression is a life threatening illness that needs to be take. as serious as any. so sorry for your loss.

Yes, losing someone close can be very difficult, I know as I have been and still am there. Many tell me that it has been long enough that I should have let go and moved on, an in some ways i have, but the pain of that person not being there because they were taken from us by suicide stays with us for the rst of our lives. Talking to others about it, sharing our feelings and honoring their memories by cherish the good times you shared is the best way, as far as i am concerned, to "deal with the pain".

The best thing at this point, is to smile at all the good times you 2 had. I know its hard, but just think positive. I hope things get better soon. Remember how great of a person she was.

I wanna salute u for the feeling tht u can "trade ur life for getting ur friend back"

What are you doing to yet to alleviate the depression

nothing much at the moment

Depression can occur for no reason at all, and make you feel like life is not worth living...