My Ex

I don't why he did it. I don't even know how.
I know when. Two days after my birthday. I was told a week after my birthday. Now it's been over a month and i'm still going through it in my mind. I'm still questioning how he did it, i'm still wondering how life had gotten so hard for him that he needed out.
I wish i could have talked him out of it. I wish i could have been there and helped him through the pain. I could have saved him.
But he's gone.
There are so many things i wish i could say to him. How i'm sorry i got angry, how i'm sorry i kissed someone else, how the time we were together was so amazing i still think about it.
I can never make peace. I can never get back on good terms with him.
Now I keep thinking about the people i've lost or gotten on bad terms with. I wish i could make peace with them. Like my recent ex, who hates me just because i'm his ex.
I've had those suicidal thoughts before. Now more than ever, but not about doing it, about how i can't do it anymore, because now i know how it affects people.
You know what's the most F***ed up thing? I haven't talked to him for 2 years.
emzi93 emzi93
1 Response May 19, 2012

Perhaps he loved you too much, and didn't want to lose you. Now you know what is going on in the hear broken guys heart: reject, betrayal, hate and love. Don't worry, time heals everything. Things come and pass, you endure and live further. That's life.