My dad was diagnosed with color rectal cancer over 3 years ago. he's been through the radiation, the chemotherapy, surgery but the cancer came back and spread to his lungs. now he's on more extensive chemo and its hanging him in there but it will never cure him...obviously...cancer the most incurable sickness that needs to be crushed!!! Anyway, his cancer is stage IV and it has put a huge strain on the family being just my parents and I (i being the only child). We are such a close family and the fact he is ill has not set well with us. I pretend to be ok and my mom hides her tears for when she's alone and caters to my dad and my dad, well...he's depressed and pissed off but tries to deal with it the best he can. I can't pray for him to heal because it is already beyond that stage. I can't pray for happiness because this will never heal in our hearts so what can i do?! how do you help a man that is ill that is sick of being sick and sick of people telling him to hang in there and all the everyday crap you try to tell a sick person. he's already heard it all. you can't tell him he looks good, you can't ask how are you....so please...from someone that is in the same shoes as him...What do you say to a terminally ill man...a father...a grandfather??? And from a terminally ill's spouses point of view...What do you do or say to help YOU through it...to help you deal with your dying spouse? i'm at a loss of words for my mom and dad and it hurts to know i can't help them. Oh and of course they don't want to throw any stress on me because i am their only child..so i can't say that i am there for them. they already know i am, that doesn't mean they will use my shoulder to lean on. oh what a life!?!?!