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The Doctors Say My Dad Has One Year to Live.

My faher was diagnosed with lung cancer in February.  He was told that he had only a year to live.   I feel hopless.  Everything I have read seems so dire.  My dad is only 64 and had just retired.

I am trying to spend as much time with him as possible but I start to cry sometimes and have to hide it from him so he does not get upset.  All I can think is this is my father's last spring.  Last Christmas may have been the last I will have with him and we didn't even know. 

We were watching a television documentary the other day and there was a woman suffering from lung cancer on the program.  The poor woman changed from healthy to a near skeleton too weak and in pain to speak in just three months.  I think she must not have taken the chemo therapy.  I think that upset my father a great deal seeing that woman.   I too am afraid that his fate will be like hers.  I am more afraid of seeing my dad suffer than losing him.

My dad worked in a physically demanding job and always looked like a strong healthy man but he has already lost all his muscle mass.  He has lost about 80% of his hair and what is left is pure white.  He seems to have aged 20 years in the last few months. 

Many of his friends from the past have heard that he is ill and have come to visit.  I know my dad is ashamed of how he looks.  He doesn't want anyone to think of him as a weak old man.  

This is soo hard.  I love him very much. 

 

Sunnygirl2 Sunnygirl2 26-30, F 4 Responses Apr 29, 2008

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I am so sorry to hear about your father. Two weeks ago my doctor told me that I had about a year left. I have accepted this. If you were my child, I would want to see you smile and find happiness.<br />
I think it's harder on those left behind than on the person who is dying because we love you and worry about you so much. I am a 51 year old woman with no children but I am very concerned about my 80 year old father who is in great health. My mother died in May and my little sister committed suicide seven years ago. Besides my father, I have an older sister whom I am not very close to. I just live a few blocks from my dad and she lives two hours away and rarely visits.<br />
I don't want anyone to know until they have to. I don't want to be treated with pity. I just want things to remain normal. I have had close calls with death before and the one thing I've learned is that if you lose your sense of humour, you're lost.! I'm still joking around with everyone and being silly. I think the one thing that has made this easier for me was a book I read a few years ago called 'Journey of Souls'. It is NOT religious but answers questions we all have like 'Why me?"<br />
I think the author was a James Whittaker PHD.<br />
I've been writing down funny things that can never happen to me now like - Never end up in diapers in a nursing home!!!<br />
I do hope you find the peace and acceptance you need to enjoy the time you have left with your father instead of worrying about his death. I know I don't want to be treated like I'm dyeing! I'm still living!!<br />
Wishing you and your dad all the best.<br />
Sincerely<br />
Aryal

I am so sorry to hear about your father. Two weeks ago my doctor told me that I had about a year left. I have accepted this. If you were my child, I would want to see you smile and find happiness.<br />
I think it's harder on those left behind than on the person who is dying because we love you and worry about you so much. I am a 51 year old woman with no children but I am very concerned about my 80 year old father who is in great health. My mother died in May and my little sister committed suicide seven years ago. Besides my father, I have an older sister whom I am not very close to. I just live a few blocks from my dad and she lives two hours away and rarely visits.<br />
I don't want anyone to know until they have to. I don't want to be treated with pity. I just want things to remain normal. I have had close calls with death before and the one thing I've learned is that if you lose your sense of humour, you're lost.! I'm still joking around with everyone and being silly. I think the one thing that has made this easier for me was a book I read a few years ago called 'Journey of Souls'. It is NOT religious but answers questions we all have like 'Why me?"<br />
I think the author was a James Whittaker PHD.<br />
I've been writing down funny things that can never happen to me now like - Never end up in diapers in a nursing home!!!<br />
I do hope you find the peace and acceptance you need to enjoy the time you have left with your father instead of worrying about his death. I know I don't want to be treated like I'm dyeing! I'm still living!!<br />
Wishing you and your dad all the best.<br />
Sincerely<br />
Aryal

My Nana is going through the same thing. She is much older than your father, but she is the same way. The doctor told her that chemo would only kill her faster. However, we are just waiting waiting for her to not wake up one day. We are sharing memories together still though, and I refuse to let Cancer take away her spirit. <br />
<br />
Your father may not be here in a year, but just try in the time he still has to be there with me and share memories with him you will never forget. <br />
<br />
Try to be Strong, but don't hold everything in either, It will only hurt you in the process. <br />
<br />
Be Strong.

Hi, do you have experience with this?<br />
<br />
http://doyouneednuklirweaponforcancergrade4.blogspot.com/<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
because I don’t have money for chemotherapy , and Surgery<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
jasmin