I Have To Tell Her I Love Her One Last Time

I got the news today, my sister emailed me which is the only way my family can contact me, my mother has cancer. The doc said that she only has maybe 3 months left. She refuses to go thru kemotherapy. It maybe hard to believe but I have cried over this. I love my mother even though she did all the things that she did. I want to go see her but I dont know if I would be wanted there. I am so far from home, I want so badly to see her though. I guess I will find my way out there and see her. Even thru all the abuse and harsh words that I went thru with her, I want to tell her that I do love her even though she doesnt love me. I want to tell her that she is going to have a grandbaby. I want her to be happy about it. I wonder if I do go how will it go. Will she finally realize what she has done, or will she deny it all and be bitter towards me even on her deathbed. I have to go see her, because if I dont I will regret it for the rest of my life. I want to tell her one last time that I love her no matter what she has done to me, that I forgive her, and that I am sorry. Some people would disagree with me on saying sorry to a woman like that. I would be saying sorry for not trying harder to have a relationship with her.
imperfectbeauty imperfectbeauty
18-21, F
2 Responses May 9, 2012

I am so sorry this hits you now! Stay strong though and don't let this drag you backward.

Go see her, if there is the slightest opportunity, go see her. No matter what, but it is important for you that you see her before she dies. <br />
If you feel the need to say forgive her and say sorry to her, do it. It's your life, your conscience, not anybody else's. Not even mine so to speak.<br />
<br />
My family kept me away from my mother when she was dying, and I still am angry about that. I never got to forgive her, so go girl go