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My Son

It has not been a good past 12 hours. I nearly lost it a few times to a crying jag (so not me). But what else can a mother do when she witnesses her six year old child have a melt down over the fact he won't be graduating with the rest of his Kindergarden class (even though they are having him rehearse with the rest of the class!). What do you do when you see crocodile tears roll down His face as he insists he WILL DO BETTER in school, sorry His brain has been so dumb (his words!), and He begs not to be left behind from His friends?!  Well, I've cried, been upset, and now I'm just ANGRY! Lucky for us, when I hit "angry mode" I get agressive and take action. And here is WHY I'm having to take action.

I've suspected my son of dyslexia since last October, after the first parent-teacher's meeting. But the teacher balked, saying due to son's age and developemental stage, this could just be a learning "delay" in reading and writing.  He's mastered everything in his grade, yet he writes backward, makes incomplete words or sentences, and so many other symptoms that I've JUST learned are part of dyslexia. The teacher admits his work is so blantantly different, she has shown his work to other teachers and staff, and NOONE admits to witnessing a child's progress as my son's. My own research and a mini test has revealed my son may have SEVERE dyslexia symptoms. How can a person be overlooked with SEVERE symptoms?!

Grandma Loyd is also tenatious in helping her grandson. We spent the morning looking up school state board laws  concerning help with dyslexic children. And we have him scheduled next week to see a psychologist to diagnose (or not) his problems. With the law and psychologist's help, we hope to have a trained teacher and regimine specified to my son's needs by next school year.

MEanwhile, I have to convince my son he IS NOT crazy, lazy, weird, or dumb! In fact, my research has left me with hope! I discovered that MANY dyslexics actually have a higher IQ than other people! Many also have the extra priviledge of being amibidextrious! We already know my son ambidextrious. He's been doing this for over two years now.... can write, play sports, ect equally with either hand. And one web site went on to say dyslexia is NOT a dysfunction; it is a GIFT! And that these "gifted" children can be 'taught' to have normal, exceeding lives. My Boy  might be bassackwards right now, but in the end he also might be ahead of his classmates intellectually! smiley

For signs and symptoms, and a mini test visit: www.dys-add.com

emerald emerald 36-40, F 18 Responses May 13, 2010

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And THERE you hit the mark, Andrew! LEarning difficulties vs intelligence! THe intelligence can be there... it's simply finding the technique that makes the person sucessfully GRASP the learning! Of coarse there are limitations with dysfuntions,brain damages, ect. But the limitations with dyslexia have been severed with finding techniques such as the Ort.-Gill. program, and other programs applied. It's just trying to get teachers and school systems to understand that the STANDARD learning/teaching system is different in this case is where the FRUSTRATION comes in at!

I think I can sense your frustration, Emerald. I struggled with Mandarin because it was being taught as a "home language" in the compulsory classes in school, but it was not a home language in my family. I felt so stupid. At 13 I was offered the chance to study French, and it was only then that I discovered that I am *not* a dunce at languages.



Seriously, if you google the literature on this issue, there is something about how languages are written, beyond dyslexia. Your son could become a Professor of Mandarin literature at Yale, or a consultant for a MNC. Seriously. Too often, people tend to confuse learning difficulties with intelligence.



*hugs*



Andrew

Andrew... that's actually some very interresting info you gave me about the Chinese symbols! Because the expert on film said dyslexics have trouble writing their own language, so how can they learn a forein language. THerefore, colleges are now allowing diagnosed dyslexics ( Here in U.S.A) to take American Sign Language in place of foreign language credit. Maybe they should allow languages with symbols! Because actually, that makes sense! WHere dyslexics screw up with the words is, they actually see patterns built around the words! So if they see sybols or markings to begin with.... it shouldn't confuse them! Right??

Oh no. Emerald, I know you are a health professional, and everything you write tells me that you are a great parent. Here in Singapore I don't know anybody my age who has dyslexia.



Some studies seem to suggest that children who grow up in a multilingual environment develop in a way which gives the child linguistic pathways to get *around* dyslexia. If you google it, there are articles about how dyslexic children don't seem to have problems with Chinese characters.



That said, last year our Ministry of Education realized that this seemed to be a growing problem and they have been training 10% of the teachers in EVERY school to identify dyslexic kids and support them. English is now the main home language in well over 50% of Singaporean households, and we are noticing that more kids seem to be dyslexic.



Take care, Emerald, and good luck with your boy! And with the school.



*hugs*



Andrew

Blueyed... actually our school doesn't have a problem admitting when a child has a special problem... or at least when it's blantant and in their faces. Our school is on top of their stuff with Autism, Downs, and Asperger's. But with Dyslexia.... I've discovered they are dunb, dumb, dumb! I dread the fight coming up to appeal his "Retainment", and special learning under the Orton-Gillian that has to be provided to help him better learn. His counselor wants him pushed on up to First Grade as he just completed testing at SECOND GRADE level! She is certain he will get bored and disruptive if he goes another year in Kindergarden. After that comes the important factor... does our school even have someone qualified to teach the neccessary program that will HELP my son progress instead of digress. I'm fearful that we're fixing to blaze some new trails and territory with our school. I'm not entirely confident or comfy with playing Davey Crockett. :/ lol

Loop, thank you for the possitive comment, especially coming from a veteran dyslexic! :) It doesn't surprise me one bit about Albert! It would explain his brilliance, and yet inability to talk at all or well until he was past the age of two. (another less known fact about him.) Those are two symptoms combined with others that detect a dyslexic at early age. My son loves to read and be read to... this is why I want the problem straightened as soon as possible! I don't want him to start hating reading just because he sees sentences wrong and the story wont make sense.

He will be seeing a specialist this week to have him tested. Plus she deals with behavior problems (some are even caused by dysfunctions such as dyslexia), and I think we need her for this as well. Wish us luck! :)

Hello Emerald,

Take heart dyslexia is not a death sentence and eventually kids brains learn how to overcome it. I know I have some form of it, but don't know the extent or level. I always had trouble with reading, writting and spelling during the early part of school, luckly it was never to the point I was pushed back a grade, but summer school was pretty standard for many years and it was always for reading. I guess back when in Catholic Grammer School they normally didn't hold kids back, so I am thankfull for that. I never liked to read, and never read very well or understood what I was reading, because the words just didn't make much sence. My parents worked with me and were very patient. I remember looking at the picture in books to see if I could figure out the stories. I actually did much better reading books with no pictures and at a pretty young age I remember reading "Call or the Wild" by Jack London with my parents. Eventually my brain overcame this issue and now it's just something I have to watch out for, but still sometimes read number backwards. I have to admit spell check is a blessing. I hope you realize Albert Enstien had Dyslexia.

loyd seems like an extremely loving person emerald. someone that truly makes a difference in your life.

YEah, but ma, you also calm us, balm our woulds, and cheer us on to keep at this! And that's part of the reason we DO keep trudging with this! We REFUSE to give up! Even if the shrink turned out to be a HORRIBLE experience! I'll write a story more on that next week, folks! Meanwhile.... thanks for the support and comments! I will be in touch in personal memo with a few of you! FG, thanks for the info! And Toby... I'm very interrested in hearing some more about your sons. Great story there! Thanks for sharing! :)

Em has two kids, one 13 and the 6 year old. Yes, grandma loyd is very ticked off at the school for not recognizing he has a learning dysfunction. When I see my daughter and grandchild hurting it tends to bring out the worst in me.

I didn't know you have a six year old son. How many kids do you have?

My Cody grew up with Dyslexia. In the days when it was not accepted, ended up teaching himself to read and compensate.It was always a struggle for him. But he loved to read. And his memory and other skills were off the chain.



Fast forward to two of my sons...they are also dyslexic. I was told by teachers many things. Such as there's no such thing. (actually it is a visual spacial discrepancy disorder. whatever) And that dyslexia just means 'reading poorly'. (no kidding..I know my latin)



You must be an advocate for your child. Yes....get angry. Get an independent diagnosis and evaluation. (I'm not sure where you live...but a search online usually has centers that do it free or at sliding cost). Do not let the school do it, with them, everything is ADHD and requires meds. PHFFT!!!!



Learn the IEP law inside and out. Make certain it is engraved in stone and then HOLD them to it.



My youngest was diagnosed in the first grade. He was told on the last day of school, five minutes before the end of the day that he would be repeating. After we found all the pieces of my head and got them reasonably well put back together I began to work.



Because of other issues...I homeschooled. He finished with a 3.65 gpa. Testing in the top 2-5% nationwide of ALL students (public, private, and other) on the testing schedule. He and his brother.



But to this day he still hears that clod of a woman saying he can't read. GRRRRR.



To the day he passed away Cody, at 53, thought himself less intelligent because of the crap from his school.



If you need...I don't know what state you are in...but I can send you the links or names of resources.

WOW Em, I so hate to hear that about what you and your son are going through. As parents we are faced with things like this from time to time, and it does hurt, knowing that our child has to endure something like this. I too struggled with Dyslexia some other learning problems when I was in school.

Oh sadly my mom had to take a medical retirement last year because of her health and it is a major disappointment for her. She is only 57 years old. (yes, she had me and still went off to college.)

I hear of Dyslexia but I don't anyone has Dyslexia.

Em, First of all I cried when I read your story so I owe you a tear jerker but I am going to wait until after all is taken care of with your son but I have a semi intelligent comment on your subject.



I have three people in my life that I dearly love that are dyslexic.... two of these gentlemen are on EP and I am going to approach them later to ask them if it is okay if I give you their screenname. You are so right when you say that these persons have extremely high IQ's and that they end up finishing at the top of their class IF they get the help they need. All 3 of the ones in my life would rank in the top 25 if I listed the smartest people I know. They have good educations and they have good jobs.



As you know my mom was a teacher and she also had specialty training in special needs as well. Some of her favorite kids to work with were dyslexic because she said that you could almost see the wheels turning in their minds and that it was a challenge to help them unlock the door to let the car out of the garage but that once she did it was amazing. I am here for you Em if you need to vent along the way but just know that if he is dyslexic there are so many therapies and caring people to help him overcome it and some day he will be able to face that teacher, degree in hand, and show her that she was dead wrong.

Yeah, we'll make it, PT! THanks. My son has just had a rough go of it this year. Our family dam is at it's crest to overflow or bust. Son broke BOTH his bones in left arm at school this past year, he's had to be tested for funky bloodwork results that caused two different doctors to test him further for leukemia, lupus, and rheumatoid arthritis, he has a frequency urination prob that the urologist doesn't have an answer for yet, and now THIS! Just kinda tired, PT. But NOT giving up! ;)

emerald, i'm sorry to hear that, they should still let him graduate with the rest of the kids. what harm can it do? the teacher should have been on this sooner and not at the end ofd the school year.



i know your hurt and angry, but be strong girl..