not too brave

When I was a student I needed a check-up of my denture.  It was done by an assistant of a professor at one of the university hospitals.  She pumped one injection after the other under a tooth.  My chin and mouth were as numb as a steak, but the nerve wouldn't sleep.  After half a dozen injections she said: this was the maximum.  She smiled at me with her irresistible eyes and ruby lips and started to scratch with one of those needle sharp hooks in my cavity.  I got a terrible jolt and wanted to make an end to this torture, but I stayed bravely, concentrating of her beautiful features so near to my face and her breast pressing against my arm.  Afterwards I've always chosen female dentists.  Women stand pain better than men.  Many of them are confronted with it on a monthly basis.  And they often are endeared by the funny fears and childish squeamishness of men.


Years later I went to see an ear specialist.  It wasn't the very first time.  The instruments of ear doctors are among the most reassuring.  No sharp stuff, nothing that can hurt, just sophisticated lamps to have a peek in the labyrinth.  High-tec, state of the art, modern medicine at its best.  A visit to an ear doctor is just a joy.  I was almost dozing away when he looked at what was there to see, when all of a sudden he touched something.  I got an excruciating shock as if stricken by a thunderbolt, and jumped.  This was worse than what any dentist had ever done to me.  Sorry, he said.  I never went to an ear doctor again, though there must be good ones.  If needed I want a beautiful, sensitive and skillfull woman.


The most cruel of all pains is heartache.  I suffered from it often and in many of it's varieties.  From the loss of my two best friends, the death of my brother and father, the suffering I saw on my way and the estrangement of my children due to divorce,  to the yearning pain of some impossible love-affairs.


I think I'm better fit for this kind of pain, cruel as it may be sometimes, than for physical torture.

moreandless moreandless
56-60, M
Feb 12, 2010