Worthy Of Love

My name means many things. It means happiness and sorrow. It means waiting. Waiting to find myself. Waiting to live a life that is truly mine. Literally translated it means "loved one," but to me it seems more like "not so loved." Though it's not the prettiest color in the box, it seems that everyone uses it. My name is like the number eight: constant and predictable - the logical choice.

My name was not chosen because it belonged to a notable woman in history. It's not a family name. It was simply chosen because my parents were able to agree that it was a pretty name. I cannot take ownership of it. Everyone has it. A name more unique would be suitable for me. My name is simple and boring and blah. Much unlike me. My name should stand out and shout. It should have attitude... pizzazz. It should float and sound sweet like a melody. A name that dances and truly means "loved one."

But instead it means waiting. It means pain and regret. It means "not so loved." So the waiting continues. Waiting to be free.

 

Having said that... here's what I'm thinking about love. I'm looking for someone who loves me, appreciates me, wants me... needs me. And I want to feel the same about them. I want passion and fireworks... But I also just want to feel comfortable with them so I can be myself. Someone to laugh at everything with.

amsthegreat amsthegreat
22-25, F
7 Responses Feb 15, 2010

I can't help wonder if the key to receiving good, whether feelings or love, isn't in how we give to others, without expecting something in return. In Greek, it is call agrape.

Pamperurft, that is so sweet and insightful! Thank you. Eight is my favorite number, for that very reason (flipped to the side it's the symbol for infinity).

This is very true! Thank you for reminding me of that. I tend to forget that things will happen if I let them. I don't have to always be in control.

You never really know what's around the corner ....

Thank you both. I know I'll find him some day. I'm just impatient.

The universe is made up of vibrations . The eyes are receivers as is the skin but there are also the vibrations which collect a voice and occasionally just a feeling that someone is near. Resonances of those individual vibrations can even be left on inanimate ob<x>jects which all can feel but some have made a lifetime in learning to read. The strongets impressions however by far are those with we call the 6th sense, generally believed to be received by the pineal gland and which like all parts of the body can be fine tuned to become a better receptor. Your soul mate is always close but sometimes in different guises and not always easy to identify, so, beauty , your soulmate is there ... go and get it ...

the last paragraph puts it perfectly! i want that too : ) regardless of what your name 'means' you are worthy.