Loving Someone ...

It's a sad fact of life that sometimes, by clinging on too hard to someone, we can push them away. 

Personally, I could not bear to be in a relationship with a jealous or possessive man.  It's a number one priority for me to have space and freedom.  Nothing makes me want to run away faster than someone who wants to keep a tight grip on me or to keep tabs on me.  I've always felt this way and I have always valued my own space.

But like most things in life, there is a balance to be struck.  Holding back a little, preserving a little dignity has its place ... which is not to say that being open with someone is not achievable ... but there is always a limit I feel.  There is always part of myself which is mine alone, for me to nurture and care for.  My own sense of self.  Perhaps I'm selfish, but that's my choice.

I know that I can be prone to jealousy, I admit it and I can face and own my own weakness.  I have ways of dealing with it which work for me.  But each of us are individuals, no-one can own us.  We choose to be limited by someone else's demands, to be imprisoned.  Sometimes this can be appealing especially if we've felt neglect in the past.  But let's be realistic here.  When dealing with adults, you can't keep them caged, you can't know their every move ...if you attempt to do so ... you will only make them crave freedom and you will lose them for good. 

“If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were.” Richard Bach.


womaninbliss womaninbliss
51-55, F
6 Responses Jul 18, 2010

I think each of us has a very unique "balance" to keep in this. I think it's wise for folks to find their own. Like you have. I like hubs possessiveness, but then he never makes me feel "caged." What I feel is more like..enfolded in velvety warmth and strong arms...But what "enfolds" me could smother or strangle someone else... <br />
<br />
Great post and awesome thoughts, like always... :)

thank you for commenting millyfilly ... yes balance should be achievable with the right person, I agree.<br />
<br />
thank you tenghis.

dear blissy,as always,so well said.....................you are a wise woman

Maybe it shouldnt be so hard, if you meet someone right for you the balance should be there?

We do live and learn shadoweyes ... I've been lucky in life and especially in love ... but we need to be mindful of balance and give and take.

Love the quote at the end. You're right that there is a balance to be struck. In the past I've given someone too much freedom and that gave her licence to sleep with another guy. I was too laid back in that relationship to see what was going on. It was a life lesson.