Shannon Craig Pt 2

Well, **** happens, eh?

We've broken up twice, and I feel a third one is coming along.
We've yet to say that were really breaking up,
But I can feel it.

Not just from what you said last night,
I can tell by your body language.

Is it bad that I can tell just by the way you act if you're thinking about breaking up with someone?

Dunno.

Well, this girl, she's still amazing.
She's going to make a guy very very happy if she ever decides to stay with someone.
Some people look at a girl and they see, "Oh, she's smart, athletic, cute, funny, etc."

You can look at her and do that, except it'll make her angry hahaha.

With her, you need to look deeper, you need to understand what she does and then think about it long and hard in order to understand WHY she does that.

I'm not exactly too good at that, but sometimes I'll get lucky.

Knowing her has done a lot to me, it's made me more social, it's made me understand what love is... However brief the instance of it may have been.

She's someone that needs to keep going on she'll just start giving up.

She's also very stressed. Not many people can put up with as much as she can.

She said last night that I either thought she was about to fall apart or that she was the strongest person I'd ever met.

She's strong.
Strong as ******* bricks.

It's a bit of a handful to put up with sometimes, but hey, I love her so I try my best to comfort her... Heh, comfort her...

There's a thing that my subconscious seemed to have put together last night... You see, she usually stayed with me for around three months before she left.. This time, maybe a month.

Last night she told me that the reason for her having commitment problems was because she was afraid of people leaving her... So I couldn't help but think of the obvious, and the unobvious...

The obvious is a bit personal so I'm not going to go into that.
The unobvious, though, I will.

She has a friend named Jack. I guess he's somewhat of a friend to me, we talked a lot.
Well, he's been with her for a few years, and they're both part of this family thing that supports each other (which is probably why she can take so much). One of the traditions of this family is that when they can, they get out of this hell-hole we call Ohio and go someplace else. But, they cannot associate with any of the family members ever again.

Well, if you didn't find it out, Jack left. And he can't talk with her anymore.
So that was a big blow to her, and I'm sure it just built on the fact that everyone leaves her.

And so, she goes with the age-old saying of "leave them before they leave you."
So, I guess that's her logic. Not much use in trying to change it, I suppose.


But there's another problem...
I still love her,
I miss her right now,
I still care about her.
And I know that I'm never going to find another girl like her.

Like right now, as I'm writing this she was asking me if I was going to mass today,
Which I am not,
I said that I wish I could and she said "same."

Just that, you have no idea what I'm feeling, **** I don't know what I'm feeling. But it's nice.

Anyway, I made a promise to myself that this would be the last time that we date or whatever we do, and it ended so fast... I don't ever remember promising myself something before... Should I break that?

I don't know, if I don't make her happy, I don't want her with me.
Plain and simple that's how I feel it is.

I'm still curious to know what she told Ellie, but that's apparently for another day... One no time soon, sadly.

Maybe I'll never know...


So I'm listening to "The A Team" by Ed Sheeran, and I'm trying to make all these lyrics fit to her, and they kind of do.

I think the best one is... "Try to swim to stay afloat."

That's easily the one that fits her the most.

Now, I'm just kinda ranting on this...

So, goodbye until next time, I doubt I'll make a part three, but who knows?

**** happens.
sonoflopez sonoflopez
13-15, M
Jan 6, 2013