I Whish They Could Know

Is it too much to ask for? Sometimes I would feel like the greatest ***** of th year. And I really appologize for the foul word though I wonder why do they put those "*" while we already know the word. Is ot some kind of special design to make bad words look cool? It's odd how much a person can hate himself so much . It should be a crime, really. How much it burns to lie so oppenly to people around me. The feeling of a stab at the times I act like somebody I'm not and that others might not even think twice when hearing things that I don't mean. That's actually pretty ironic, isn't it? I'm the one who believe that we should always tell the truth and about finding the right path in life. This is utterly confusing. Why would I do that? Why can't I seem to stop while I already know this is wrong. Maybe I don't want them to know the real me. Though, at this point, I've already forgotten that little girl who was trapped all this time in the deepest hall. Just fake. That's what I consider myself. I'm not afraid of rejection because I like being on my own. But they won't let me anymore since they consider me as a really close friend. While I just want to crawl back in bed and never see a single human as long as I live. Maybe I am pathetic. Just lying, everywhere and anytime, to everyone. I feel like I'm falling too deep again, that I'm begining to lose the light that was showing me the way. I just hope someday I'll find it and begin to be honest with others. But it's still a maybe.
Wicked21 Wicked21
May 5, 2012