I Know the Man I Never Knew

I would sit on the front step and wait for him to come home from work, I was just a tot and the thing I looked forward to the most was this moment. My dad would come home and  he would open his lunch box  and hand me something from within, whether it be a sandwich or a cookie, There was always something in there for me.

It seems as a child our Dad is this mysterious individule who comes and goes to work, tries to inspire us to achieve our dreams and goals,and provides us with the essential material things.

The man behind the title. My father would always be the one to stop if someone was "broke down" or needed a ride somewhere. I remember one time when his union shop was on strike and in order to keep things afloat for his family he would rake leaves to provide for our needs.

My father is a very commited man. I have had the privilage and the sadness to view this for My  myself. My mother was not the nicest of women. she made day to day living very difficult not only for us  five children but especially for him. MY dad is very family oriented, He loved his wife and he loved his kids. How does a man try to keep his wife whom he loves and keep his children also without choosing sides?

My father would come home to a house filled with tension day after day and try to "mediate" between everyone. My mother resented her life and made sure everyone was aware of that fact. Drinking became an issue and abuse followed.

My father was not aware of many things (he worked nights) and we were at school during the day.  Now I could  tell many stories at this point but I will stick to the Man himself.

What I didnt know (or failed to understand as a child) My father Had all these frustrations in his life paying for everything ( my mother didn't work) And everyone basically screaming to be heard. Here was  one man trying desperately to hold a family together that invitably was destined to be broke.

He loved a woman that didn't love him. The things she would do to this man ! She would deliberatly try to start a fight, accuse him of things etc. it was unbelievable (except when your a child) She would drive a wedge beteen all  of us, by making us believe the things she said were true.

One day she threw him out for what would be the final time.  So much had happened all of his children left home by the time they were 16. By the time it was over for them I had custody of my little brother who was 14 at the time. I was 21.

The Day I got to know him: He would come over to my house and we began to learn about each other , what his dreams and goals were how he felt about stuff that was important to him, and I shared my feelings too. I live in the town where My father grew up and learned about this man I call Dad. although my dad was a quiet guy in school he was well liked in town. My Dad comes from a family where there were 8 children, My grandparents were not the "huggy" type so for my father expressing emotions was very hard for him.

My father has regrets that he missed out on alot of things when we were growing up . Between work and the turmoil, I think sometimes He had to distance himself or the burden would have been too great or maybe it was the fruitility of it all. My mother died five years after they had divorced. they had been married I think for 25 years, He was there at her funeral.

This man who is my father now is 69 years old his life is financially good and he has all of his children back. alot of healing took place on all sides and I for one am glad none of us were shortsighted. because we would have missed out on the greatest inspiration and man of our lives.

Love really can build a bridge!

Is there a parent or step parent in your life you really got to know as an adult?

windy windy
46-50, F
Apr 17, 2007