Not Really

In the real world the MRA and MRM aren't like the people who most frequently are the loudest mouthpieces here on EP. Have I agreed with a MRA or two in my real life, sure thing. Anyone who actually takes gender studies classes in a Univ. Level knows serious MRA members also take the same classes. Anyways I respect their voice when its based on actual facts, these debates are usually much more productive and interesting than what goes on in some of the groups here at EP. I'm all for debate and understanding but not when it isn't based on a factual assertion. Men have the right to voice concerns as do women.

Just like Feminism doesn't promote hatred of men.
Mens Rights don't want to take rights away from women, don't let the loud mouths in these Groups fool you into thinking they are actually representing anyone other than themselves.
Vivagalore Vivagalore
31-35, F
7 Responses Apr 14, 2012

Ambi, I saw your story here but I joined the group anyway because of a discussion I got into a few days ago with a nasty MRA type who appears to hate women in general, feminist men, and me in particular. I've blocked him and flagged a few of his replies, two of which have been deleted by EP. See

Really, the group I would have preferred to join would have been something like I Know Some Members of the Men's Rights Movement Are Full of Hatred.

Movements tend to focus too much on the advancement of themselves rather than the bigger picture.<br />
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It is not about the advancement of women/men it is about the advancement of humanity through equality.

You are awesome! Thank you!

Now THIS..... THIS is a great post.

Nice work, Dente. I hope I'm not mistaken, but I believe it was Warren Farrel who originally started out in the Feminist movement (was on the board of NOW! knew Gloria Steinem of course), and from what he learned from them he realised that men, too, need to be liberated. <br />
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Quite right he was. <br />
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It is a pity, the damage of the poor and moronic educations, that have been forced on both sexes, & the terrible damage that has resulted. William Morris certainly seemed to realise some of this, hinted at it, in his writings over 100 years ago. Of course, the women authors had already been writing about it much more directly. Wollstonecraft stands out. We, men and women, owe her a lot. She was a brave, intelligent & beautiful woman. have known her!

I am so happy you posted this story as I was starting to believe that the small sample of hateful, rude and bitter men claiming to be mra 's on here was representative of the mens rights movement.<br />
Several years back I read Warren Farrels book, I cannot remember the title but basically he offered some very good and valuable insight into many of the issues men face. I remember honestly feeling sympathetic towards the movement. Farrel I felt presented his views in a fair way, he was able to promote the necessity of mens rights without degrading or demeaning women.<br />
I tend to agree that there are areas where men do face inequity. Child custody is a clear example, though I do feel things are getting better in that regard as joint custody rather than full custody becomes more popular.<br />
What bothers me though is the suggestion that feminism is to blame for these inequities. I believe that patriarchy bears at least some responsibility as it is often the traditional gender stereotype of mothers being more nurturing and therefore more suited to custody then fathers that could lead a Judge to conclude that the best place for a child is with the mother and that fathers are mostly just wallets.

I agree ... patriarchy is the system that made men, providers and disciplinarians.... these long held stereotypes feed into mothers getting children and men being forced into support payments... it is nice to see the courts finally realizing that children need both parents...

I have an idea. Why don't some of us here, or on a newly created story, tell the different ways this situation, the man &amp; woman (or woman and man) cold war, is hurting us as people? I mean, from an individual standpoint. It might be very illuminating and cathartic. &amp; people, men or women, or women and men, who would come to that place just to bash the other gender, or to trumpet the supposed superiority of their gender over the other due to personal scores they want settled, or their beliefs, are not invited.

Great Idea!

You're a good guy Room!

gumshoejane2, you seem very thoughtful and fair. You, and DenteAvvelenato both seem to be well balanced. I was going to join the group, MRM is about hate, but read your replies. I do not want to be branded, or limited to being a man hater, and I should not presume that all MRAs hate women.
I am disgusted with patriarchy, not all men, and of course men should have rights too, especially in regard to custody and child rearing. Backlash is too easy; we all need balance and open minds.

Thank you msfeminist.

Dear Gumshoe,
Thanks! Were you once a detective?

Hello Room! No, never a detective but I am curious!

I think the problem is when you start giving women sole credit for feminism and men sole blame for "patriarchy". What you're really talking about is social progress vs social conservatism. There are plenty of male feminists, and plenty of females who want to go back to traditional gender roles, and the way the debate is generally framed forces us to assume that those people have been brainwashed into "fighting for the other side", rather than having legitimate opinions of their own.

There are people who want equal rights, there are people who think one gender is better than the other, and there are people who think we should do things the way our grandparents did things, and you'll find all of these people mixed up in all sorts of political movements; As and Bs who call themselves feminists, As and Bs and Cs who call themselves men's rights activists, Bs and Cs who call themselves conservatives... the labels don't help much, basically.

6 More Responses

Grrrr, I posted a story, then find out it forced me to join the group... fix this EP its obnoxious....

I think you can just leave the group and the story will remain.

I know. I just become annoyed at having to join a group simply because I posted a story in the group..ya know?