Sometimes I Just Know
I'm a perfectly rational person - I've studied psychology, I'm training to be a teacher, I'm catholic, but I know things. Its not like seeing, more like searching and knowing. If I want to know an outcome I search my mind, I get two kinds of responses - a feeling of dead certainty which means yes whatever it is will happen or a vague excited feeling which means no - or there are other possibilities to explore.
Of course it doesn't always work, especially if is to do with me, but if it is about someone else I am nearly always right. Sometimes I don't get to choose, I remember one night when I was young I just KNEW one of grandparents was going to die, I prayed and begged and pleaded and wept that night and the next day my grandfather had an aneurysm (he'd been perfectly healthy before) and he died on my birthday a few days later.
Sometimes I do dream things, I dreamt my grandmothers death, I actually saw Princess Diana's death and was shocked and frightened.
Some days I get an awful feeling and I know something is going to happen, and there is nothing I can do but wait.
A blessing and a curse, but its me - a part of me, although there have been times when I''ve wished I've never known.