The Wingless Angel

I have always had a deep fascination with Angels. From the dark chaos that was, well, 'life' i would stare up into my dreams and look at my perfect image of the night and imagine angels to be like stars; bright, ablaze, bewitching things that light up all my darkness. At a very early age i met an angel; this one had no wings. I walked alone in school; my heart sat inside my chest a collection of burnt ashes that were slowly flaking off and disappearing in the air. A sort of hollow existed, one that i was so accustomed to i hadnt realized how lonely i was untill i looked back on my friendless days. Without much being said one can guess I was bullied and teased ruthlessly, that much is easily predictable. But never did i show my hurt as the one thing that held me together was a sour taste for vengeance and the pride of a lion. I am also a sort of 'black widow'. My favourite past times included finding a friend, creating bridges built from bricks of trust and cement of faith, and then over the months/ years tearing it down. I liked to separate myself from people and when they didn't chase after me, i loved the confirmation in knowing i could never have a friend. The same goes from love. And my wingless angel found me in the most pitch black of nights, dragged me from the dark depths of some of my most loved addictions and brought me into the midground of dark and light. the entire time he held my hands in his own and never took his arms from around me no matter how much is struggled, no matter how much i tried to push away from him. Like a star he set my heart on fire, but this fire is not one that destroyed my heart and turned it to ashes. This fire was on of love that repaired me and, for that i can never thank him enough. I dont think i have ever loved anyone the way i have him. He has done even more than just love me; he has accepted me and taught me more about myself than i could have ever imagined. As for my harmful addictions, i have gotten over them with my own will power as he can only drag me so far; i have to want to go the rest of the way. I love him with my soul and he is more to me than a brother and friend but an angel without wings who crashed down to earth, found me and dared step into the darkness that i am without cringing, without judging, and without turning away.