I Don't Know What To Do With My Life

I don’t know what to do with my life: no ambition or dreams
I am a 21 year old man from Belgium. My problem is that I do not know what I want to do with my life. I feel unhappy, I don’t have a big ambition or motivation for career paths. What concerns a job, I don’t find something I like and I have spend A LOT of time searching for many different kind of jobs in the hope that I would find something I like.

I have studied at college but didn’t succeed. Lack of motivation resulted in bad school results.

In my childhood I always got teased by other kids and humiliated by my father because I was fat. I had a big complex about that and had anorexia from my 14 to 19. I’m over that now and don’t have the ED anymore, but i spend so much of my time alone and stressing about food that I haven’t lived and I feel very lost now.

I do have 2 big interests: fitness (weight lifting) and i have a passion for South east Asia and eJapan and basically like travelling. The USA and Canada interest me as well. Unfortunately to travel you need money and I don’t have that right now.

Sometimes I feel like everything is overrated. Am i really ment to live a boring 9 to 5 job Monday to Friday filling rack in a supermarket or something? I know it’s in my own hands though and I can make a choice and go for something.. but the problem is that I don’t know what that something is and I can’t just go for something I don’t like because I’m not motivated to do so.

I thought having a girlfriend would make things better because I have someone that I love and feel good with.. I’ve dated many girls and had several relationships but none of them seemed to please me alot. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to make it sound like women should be a slave for men. But i mean, I am ahead of my age in way of thinking and these girls I’ve dated were mostly around my age. I see I am not on the same levels as these girls. Besides, I’ve always been attracted to older women (30-45 years old). They know what they want, are emotionally more mature and have some life experience.

I don't want to regret doing nothing in my life when I'm old... I want to take action but because my lack of interest in things I don't know what to take action for.
Anyway, is there someone with a similar experience? If so, please share and what did you do after you found yourself unhappy?
Gintoki Gintoki
Dec 10, 2012