It's Been Almost A Three Years

Three years you've been gone from this earth, yet I still think about you and remember you as if it were yesterday. I loved you and I don't think I ever told you that. If I could tell you one thing, I would want you to know that I forgive you for taking your own life. It was selfish, but I forgive you. Three years have past and I'm no longer the girl you knew when we parted ways. I've changed a lot since then. There used to be a time when I thought about you every day and cried that you were gone, but not anymore and I'm scared that I'm losing you all over again. Already I feel your voice slipping away and can hardly remember what your touch felt like. My heart breaks fresh every day when I wake up and remember that you're not there anymore. You always told me to follow my heart, but my question is, when it's shattered which piece do I follow? I love you still and wish you were here. I wish you could see that even though I still miss you, I'm happy. I've learned to laugh and smile again and I've learned how to cope with the hurt that you've put me through. There are days when I devolve and ask myself what I could have done differently, but the answer is never clear. I know you will never read this, but I think your heart was in the right place, your mind was just foggy so I think you'll end up in heaven, where you belong. I hope one day we will meet again on streets of gold, walk hand in hand and be home. But until then, I miss you and I love you.
WalkToPerdition WalkToPerdition 18-21, F Dec 16, 2012

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