I Do, And This Is The Final One For Me. NOTE: AS OF 180411, I HAVE ADDED A FINAL SECTION TO THIS STORY. IT IS IMPORTANT; I AM STILL IN SHOCK. PLEASE READ
I loved a man here at EP enough to want to marry him one day.
But he loved his ex-EP girlfriend and all her friends here (who are also his friends), far more.
He was not able to distinguish between real life and real love, and internet flirtations with these women.
I didn't ask anything of him but love. He wouldn't have had to give me anything materially.
You see, I come from a wealthy family and am a very high income earner.
I had recently taken off a few months to look after a family member who is seriously, likely terminally ill, but that's because I could/can afford to. I did it to do the right thing by my family, even though I have not had the best relationship with them.
All I ever asked was for this man to love me as I loved him. Deeply and truly.
I found out today that he didn't when he sent me a pm breaking it off.
Actually, I found out several days ago when he told me he was still speaking to his ex and laughing and joking with her.
In his last pm to me, he told me that I would likely post a story to malign him after our break up.
If he reads this, I would like to tell him that no - I am not writing this to malign you.
I am writing this, my dearest darling, because I loved you the most out of all the men I had ever known. And I need to write this, because you have truly broken my heart.
I told you that if you were ever crippled by an accident or dying of a disease, I would look after you to the end of your days,and I would be ever faithful and likely ever-celibate after your death. That is how much I love you.
I am crying now because I am so devastated, which should make your girlfriends/my bullies and enemies here, happy.
Your breaking up with me has made me lose a lot of faith in men.
I thought you were one of the best, but you didn't turn out to be because you loved your ex and your EP grilfriends, more than me.
I hope one day that I will meet someone who will love me for me. Someone who will restore my faith in men. Someone who will make me realise that men don't go around breaking hearts with impunity, and that they appreciate and respect the woman they are with. Someone who will never break my heart.
I think the only way you will understand how I feel is if you meet a woman one day whom you love passionately, and she does what you did to me today.
But, truthfully, I hope you don't, because no one deserves this.
A pentultimate point that must be made. In case you didn't know already, this bullying by your ex and her friends of me, was all over you. They wanted to keep you in their circle and missed your daily flirtatious gestures with them. They missed all the attention you gave them, before I came along. You see, with me in the picture, you weren't able to give them as much attention as before. This is the truth, and I suppose it takes a woman to see it.
One day you will realise that I told you the truth about many of them. And about me - how much I loved you.
Finally, to all my EP friends and the ones who actually cared, I will miss all of you. EP was a happy place for me before the events of the last 1-2 weeks. You made it happy for me. I wish all of you the very best in life.
I want you all to be happy.
I will probably be forgotten after I leave. Or thought badly of once my detractors are able to spread enough rumours about me here.
So I want to tell you who I am., as my name will be deleted off this post after I leave.
My name is FeasibilityStudy and I am female. I have a no-nonsense and direct exterior, but am a kind, compassionate and loving person inside. I have never said a bad word about anyone here - no matter the rumours - and only posted stories naming people in the last week in self-defence in order to get them to stop harassing me. I have an uneasy relationship with my family, but am working on making things better. Especially in light of today, I realise that blood is thicker than water.
I once had the world at my feet and was bright and shiny and sparkling.
I hope to restore that after I leave EP.
A Further Post-sc
After this story was posted, I had a phone call today and several messages from Epeeps who cared. After speaking with them for hours now, I have decided to stay. I love EP. Only some of the people here have made it a very negative experience for me in the last 2 weeks.
But I think, now that I am less upset, that I will start over here. I will cast off the old baggage and move on. One person,in particular, has made me realise that I was the one who loved too much, but was never really loved in return. Importantly, he said that if someone loves you,they will never put you in a position where you have to fight to keep them. I believe him. Life is a learning experience - you learn and then move on.
The only legacy of this experience now is a $300.00 mobile phone bill - I made all the calls; perhaps that should have told me something in hindsight. No matter, I'll pay it and move on.
Thank you to my true friends here for caring enough about me. I love all of you.
EDIT 180411: An EP friend today showed me incontrovertible proof that the man I loved had played me out with my bullies/his EP ex and her and his girlfriends. Whilst I was trying to fend off the bullies and trying to save my relationship with this man, he had been calling them - especially his ex and another - telling them that I was throwing tantrums and had a pathological hatred of his EP friends, Then straight after he sent me a pm breaking it off with me on my Saturday morning/his Friday night, he pm'ed one of my bullies here, GM, and told her to tell everyone (my bullies) that he had broken up with me.
And between my Saturday and today, my Monday, he has been sending me emails outside of EP telling me that I was the one who was insecure and venomous and needed help.
My God, my God! If he didn't want me couldn't he have just broken up with me properly like a gentleman? Instead of orchestrating this whole bullying scenario to get rid of me? Now I feel physically sick.
Without mentioning names, this is the final pm I sent to him today:
FeasibilityStudy Apr 18, 2011 4:45 AM
I now know that you were talking to your girlfriends. OOC, KHAW and GM in the lead up to your breaking it off with me.
Here I was fighting off my bullies and trying to keep you as my guy, and there you were sabotaging my efforts.
Another EP user sent me a copy of some of OOC's whiteboard scribbles.
I don't know what to say. Couldn't you have gracefully broken it off with me without talking to your EP girlfriends about it? I was trying to fight them off with one hand tied behind my back - you were my handicap, because while i was trusting you, you were sneaking around talking to my bullies and discussing the demise of our relationship with them.
Oh my God. Oh my God.
Do me a favour. Forget about me. Forget we met, forget we fell in love.
As of now I can't love you anymore. You just killed whatever feeling I had for you.
FYI, I never harmed any of your girlfriends or said anything bad about them. And if you believe I did, you are a major fool.
And to think I thought you were the one, OH MY GOD!!! HOW YOU HAVE BETRAYED ME!!! Oh God I was such a fool with you!
No forget my prior pm to you. I can't ever be friends with someone who treated me so badly. You abused my trust.
Find someone else who is on your level with how people should be treated. Goodbye and good luck.
My name is FeasibilityStudy and I was played by a lot of mentally ill and psychologically disordered people on this site. Time to get back to a sane and real world.