Just An Opinionated Opinion From One Male.

First things first, there are no Absolute Types of men to avoid.

The vital thing is to know what YOU want with any given man - one nighter/fling/long term relationship/father to your children/constant companion/supporter. If you don't know this, don't blame us! And if you change your mind, likewise, that's hardly our fault.

Also, women who pick men expecting them to change for them are doomed to failure. We'll change when we damned well want to, thank you very much.

Most men are good for a fling, so long as you learn how to break it off properly and avoid stalkers.

My final general thought is that if you  can not see past what you attracts you to him, you're doomed.

1. The Still-A-Boy-Man.
Most problems come about when women fail to detect that their chosen man for a Serious Relationship is not really grown-up. Chances are, they were manly or boyish or just available, and looked like their faults could be managed, or overlooked.

I think the tell-tale signs are most likely the following: they have no purpose in life, they do not know what their priorities are and they are have no ability to grasp the idea of fundamentals.

2. The  Adventurer/Playboy/Ubergeek/Truthseeker
If you are not willing to put yourself second to the singular passion of these sorts of men, you are setting yourself up for pain. Sometimes it burns out, sometimes it's a lifetime passion. These men are not about at home, generally speaking.

3. The Mummy's Boy
Common sense says steer clear of these types unless you want to be their mothers. If you're not listening to common sense, well... I won't be rude.

4. The Arsehole.
Hmmm. Really, if you're continuously trying to have a relationship with one of these men, it's probably you who has the problem.

5. The Provider/Devotee
Some of us were built to serve. Including breakfast in bed. But this tends to go in hand-in-hand with a lack of a membership from the Best Hardcore **** Of Your Life Club.

This was written mostly in jest, as I am not really all that qualified to talk about this stuff.

But I'm sure there's some truth in there.
TheTardyDodo TheTardyDodo
31-35, M
12 Responses Jul 17, 2007

OMG I love it. I've tried putting this in words, but you did it. I think you should put it on the back of some business cards and pass it out to women so when they're out meeting new people they can pull it out and analyze the guy real fast. good times.

oh i absolutely agree whole heartedly! in a relationship, a mature, communicative, good and honest relationship you and your partner tend to assist in expanding each others minds, grow with one another, evolve together, etc. ABSOLUTELY! if one is not willing to grow and adjust in a relationship, be supportive and accepting of the inevitable changes that will come as one proceeds through life (with or without a partner), if one is so idealistic he/she is unwilling to be flexible and expects all to remain the same forever ... well that's not healthy and it wouldnt' be advisable to engage in a relationship with this mindset ... life in and of itself changes us. life with a partner is going to do the same. we just have to work at making certain we grow and mature 'together' throughout the journey.

It's interesting to see how often people get the focus back to front - failing to see that self-knowledge is where it all begins, and then thinking that relationship problems are mostly about *them* rather than the other person's misbehaviour. I think I am still hopeful that a good relationship can contain elements of people helping their partner along that person's *own* path... but it's not the same as *changing* someone to meet specifications.

there's a lot of truth in your analysis. the most important thing i've found in this whole 'relationship game' is KNOWING who YOU are and KNOWING what YOU WANT out of a relationship and another person realizing the entire time that you canNOT change the other person, that you MUST ACCEPT them JUST AS THEY ARE! that's key to an emotionally mature relationship as well as EFFECTIVE (firm and fair) communication ... in my humble opinion that is ... lol

Hahahaha. It's true! I think there are a bunch of emotionally and mentally age-appropriate men out there. Not all that common, but they're there. Those wonderful specimens aside, I think the rest of the time it's really a matter of coming to terms with *who* the man one is attracted to really is, rather than who one wants them to be.

Wait....then what kind of men am I not avoiding?<br />
<br />
Just kidding. Mostly.

Ha! It wasn't meant as a retort :) I was just blowing off some steam, initially. I am quite sick of the fact that so many good women get trapped in relationships with unworthy men (so to speak). But then after a while, I found myself venting a bit of steam in the other direction too! In the great mating game, we're all to blame I guess, except for when one party refuses to take responsibility for *their* side of the equation. That can sometimes render useless even the best efforts by the other to make amends.

good retort! although major truth in your reply to this, as I have seen them! I know several good men out there so, I don't put every male in this catergory. but as you said one needs to know what one wants.The thing is you live and learn,just because they have charm doesn't mean one size fits all lol

Sounds like a charmer!! I bet you that such valuable men are as rare as a people with a nose :P

hahahah - i think you should go and put them in your own story!!! them's some good ones.

Very good work, Dodo! May I humbly add a few? Men who drive Corvettes. Men in the middle of bitter custody disputes with their ex-wives. Men who consider beer a beverage. Men who can name all the members of their favorite sports team but cannot name one of their Congressmen. Men who think fishing is a sport - rather than a way to hide a drinking problem. Men who know anything at all about Broadway musicals and/or opera. Men whose idea of foreplay is, "Get in the truck, b*tch." Men who can't take you to a romantic B&B in the country without checking with their parole officer first.

Errr no, that would just make you a young person. Knowing you, you're pretty much intent on maturing on *your* timeline and nobody else's :D