I Need To Watch My Words

     I have a serious problem with watching what I say to people. Not so much as exactly what I say but how carelessly I say them when criticizing others.
It started with I was very young. Having been raised by a repairman and working under him since I could walk, I became a careful and acute student in electronics, mechanics, physics and mathematics and a keen observer of everything. . . all so I could know how they worked in order to fix them.
     When I watched Hugo, I completely understood the kid and his perception of the world but my focus lay more on what was within the single sprocket that made tick the way it did. My fascination later grew with people as I found out how flawed my parents were and turned my attention to observe the mechanics of emotion and thoughts in others. Like everyone else, I was always aware but this time I turned the attention I had on machines to people. When I became older i began to have the same emotions from some of the same words.
     My father, the mechanic, was also a retired sergeant in the US Army so discipline and painful words accompanied my instruction. He was strict and bordered on verbal abuse but I became stronger as a result and much more observant. There have been times I'm not proud of my words, like when my father and I were drunk and I told him because of the life he led, I'm the one who will have to pay his sins. The week I tried to quit smoking and I made 2 people cry, one a young adult woman at a bar and the other was a 54 year old man who grew up working on the docks of NYC. I spoke no untruth and never spoke in hyperbole. I just read them as I saw them. Soon after all of this, a friend passed me a saying "Love without truth lies, but your truth without love kills." I realized I needed to so careful because typically I become so entrenched in my work of observing and tweaking people, I forget I'm working with people and don't regard them the respect they deserve. . . most of them deserve.
Arimatheus Arimatheus
26-30, M
1 Response May 5, 2012

You are such an amazing person! I mean it, really. There are not much people who would try to fix this kind of problem since they think that being blunt is actually telling the truth. But I'd just like to say, I admire you and keep on being positive.

Thanks, I appreciate that. Our society seems to be bent on favoring the blunt person who knows better. There's a half a dozen TV series on that kind of guy, like House MD, Lie To Me and Sherlock.
Though to be honest, I do reserve the privilege of being blunt without respect for special cases who I think are deserving.