What Keeps You Going?

I would very much like to ask the question, "What Keeps You Going?"
I am really curious to hear as many opinions from you guys on the "I Lack Faith In Humanity Group" as possible (and of course anybody who wishes to vent), so I'll just post this little question and hope for the best. If the question is not clear enough, I'll make it more specific below.

You are surrounded by things that which you despise, they just won't leave you alone. Every single day you feel frustration, frustration that I, and more importantly, THEY are not able to fathom. Have you ever thought about ending it all? Taking your own life? Does the notion of death scare you? Why? Would it not be preferable? Do you think there is any hope whatsoever for humanity? What kind of hope? In short, ANYTHING that you think can answer this question, anything that makes it more interesting or whatever, please write it down!

I hope that as many of us as possible can get into this and discuss. I would love to hear what you have to say.
KingNothing90 KingNothing90
22-25, M
1 Response Sep 18, 2012

I've had a rather tough childhood and yes I hated it, but I've never ever thought about ending my life or hating my life. Why not? Because I looked at the things I did have. :)

The thing is, most people mostly or only look at the things they hate or dislike, or the things they don't have or can't get. Yes that makes life unbearable.

Instead, try to look at the things you have and most importantly CREATE your own happiness and dreams. Life gives you upportunities and chances, but most people (especially those with a victim mentality) don't see them. Even if life doesn't give you chances you can still create them.

My dream is to become a Game Designer, but health issues prevent me from attending college (plus the fact my high school thought I was too stupid) so basically I couldn't fullfill my dream right? That's what most people (again, especially those with a victim mentality) would think. They're wrong! I created my own chances. I am now the proud owner of Crazy RPG World and am busy working on my next game while at the same time creating my own website.

I was heavily autistic when I was born and lived completely in my own world, I was bullied for 8 years, had no friends until high school, was always underestimated, got a brain herphormage when I was 11 that caused me to lose all my learned skills (except eating, sleeping, drinking, talking and walking) like tying shoes or eating with a fork, and it took me about 10 years to relearn everything and that herphormage also gave me Epilepsy and somewhat damaged motoric skills as well as a small part of my brain died off. Then later I got Tietze Syndrome and was kicked out of college due to all the absenses due to Tietze (was studying Graphic Design) while giving it my all.

Yet here I am... fullfilling my dream of being a Game Designer and enjoying every moment of my life, despite having no friends, health issues, no job, no relationship and rarely being able to walk without heavy pain. Want to know why? I don't have a victim mentality and am not weak-willed like most people nowadays. I enjoy every thing I DO HAVE instead of yearning for the things I DON'T HAVE.

I've had a lot of awful experiences in my life, but I don't wish any of them gone... why not? Because those experiences made me who I am today, someone I actually respect. (yes I respect myself) But I've also had great experiences in my life, which also made me who I am today.

Yet I am no better than any other person because I am just as much human as any other person. I do consider myself stronger mentally than a lot of people though.

Hey there. I'm glad you decided it was worth it to reply to this, discussions are most useful, and I could always use more of them. I like your "fighting spirit" but there is something about it that I find problematic.. I will try to explain what I mean. What is the point of fighting if you don't have a goal.. a dream? I'm not referring to you, but to me, and others like me. I do not have a goal. I have NO idea what I want, and I believe that is a very fair thing to say. We know so very little about what's out there... I'm not saying "lie down and die". Give up... No. I would probably never end my own life, I just don't see the point, but also! I don't see the point with living when there's pretty much NOTHING thus far that intrigues me. Because believe me, I don't feel like I'm alive. So far I've tried studying theoretical and practical philosophy (that's how it's divided in Sweden and.. Finland I think) but it wasn't enough. I just don't have the spark to see it through (exam levels and all that...) I also tried a History course, I absolutely hated it.. except for the "Chivalry" course. Just reading through hundreds of pages about (pardon my in eloquence here.. history is important) boring stuff and writing it down on a piece of paper at a set date... I also tried a Sociology course, ultimately, I didn't like it.. they wanted you to make investigations and behave in a certain way and I puke on stuff like that. My main problem with ALL courses thus far seems to be that there is ALWAYS one thing in the course that makes me lose all interest, and of course.. you need to complete everything in order to progress. Also, hating the chain smoking, noodle eating, modern hipster kids of the 21st century; "students", and teachers at the place isn't helping...

Well.. wow. That's all I can say. You've been trough quite a lot and provided that all you say here is true (I want to believe you, I'm just cautious with believing too easy), then your childhood has been very different compared to mine! As a child, I got all the cookies I wanted from my fat incompetent father! (even the ones that weren't no good... >:() I even had to go to the hospital once because of all the stuff I got to eat. When I got home to my mom and stepfather again, my mom had to pretty much fix all the mess he had made. In short.. I've had a very simple childhood, and if it weren't for my mom and stepfather, I'd probably be a very stupid human being indeed this day... Unless of course, I would have had your fighting spirit. However, they do not approve of what I am, some times I even wonder if they believe me when I tell them what I think about most humans. They call me "arrogant" (which is hilarious...) and say that I have my head in the clouds. I've had it very easy, no crippling diseases, almost no bullying at all. But I've most certainly been "picked on" for being different, but that is to be expected from simpletons I'm afraid... Yet here I am! A misanthropist. The very notion of taking a "job" because "that's just how it is" makes me sick. It infuriates me. I never asked for this society; "I NEVER ASKED FOR THIS..." (Adam Jensen from Deus Ex: Human Revolution, if you've played the game ;)) I could go on and on about just how much I frown on people having children because they find/found it "amusing"...
These people see themselves as grownups.. when in fact they are nothing else than giant drooling infantile toddlers, with the ability to create life... It's DISGUSTING! A pox on nature itself...

I checked out your game site, I didn't learn too much about it but I liked the message; doing random stuff! ^^ (I hope I'm not wrong here)
You have NO friends? But... What will the facebook freaks think!? And the NEIGHBORS! O.O Better to put a strong and true value on the word "friendship" instead of settling with a bunch of fools that will talk behind your back when you're not listening... I have one individual who I consider to be a true friend. Without him, I doubt I would ask the questions I'm asking today. When I was the most depressed, he listened and gave me advice, even though the issue was pathetic and quite boring ^^ It was however, a huge deal to me, and pretty much made me into who I am today.

If I may.. how are you today? Will your health issues ever improve? Or will you be forced to deal with it for the rest of your life? (such as the difficulties with walking)

About not having your experiences that made you into what you are today gone; This is a very strong and important message. I'd never want to forget what I used to be and what made me into what I am today either. Doing so would be missing the entire point... Also, I would never trade the information I have today for lies.. for a false sense of security... I do not want to be "content".

There is one last thing I must ask; You say that you enjoy everything you do have instead of yearning for things you don't have. I suppose this is one thing that makes us different. For example.. the more I think about it, the more I like the idea of.. leaving... I want to leave this backwater planet and it's disgusting savages behind. I just wish there was a way to go away... This is also the case of my best and only friend. "If you don't like it, then you can leave." Problem is... Leaving my current "country" and moving to another would probably present me with more problems than it is worth.. because of human laws. And as I sort of already said.. it's not about moving away from my current country, Sweden, but leaving humanity behind. I have little to NO interest in their petty meaningless ideals. I HATE the idea of "getting married", it is NOT necessary. I HATE the idea of "finding a partner", I want FRIENDS. I HATE the idea of having children, it is CRUEL and I do not have the right, even though I seem to realize more than many others just how cruel it actually is... I HATE democracy, I HATE politicians, PETTY, STUPID, INSIPID, FOOLS with PATHETIC, SHORTSIGHTED goals! (Pay us! Work for us! And you shall be SAFE! And CONTENT! bleeh...) The more I think about it, the more I hear the words "I do not belong here" in my head. Do you understand what I mean?
I Feel Trapped. If I COULD leave, I would make damn sure to explain to anyone willing to listen why...

That will have to be enough for now, thanks again for taking this seriously.

You're welcome. ^^

Good question, what is the point of doing something while it gives you nothing. Perhaps you're taking a wrong approach, perhaps it's simpler than history, philosophy or such high-standard things. Perhaps you'd like creative things more for example?

Yes, a lot of students and teachers nowadays outright suck (excuse the language :P) I agree with you. However, the more reason to find those few gems in heaps of trash am I right? :P

It's your choice whether to believe me or not, I don't really care, I'm only saying it for the remote chance it might help you. Heh, yeah you're father does sound kinda... weak, no offense. What do you mean with "if it weren't for my mom and stepfather, I'd probably be a very stupid human being indeed this day... Unless of course, I would have had your fighting spirit."? Are you saying you'd be stupid if you had my fighting spirit?

Yeah, most people just don't want to hear anything when it comes to being offended, really, I wonder why they care. If I get offended, who cares (funny thing because then I wouldn't get offended... ah well).

Well, true but having a job can also be fun because you get social contacts, experience and more! I am never able to work and in some way it's a shame. Yeah, having children because it's amusing is just stupid (wrong parents) but having children because you want them, and want to love them etc, then I consider them good parents. (if they are indeed good to the kids)

Haha who knows what facebook freaks will think, or my neighbours. :P Don't really care. But yeah I have NO friends, not even those backstabbing ones (luckily) Ahh yes, those friends are the best friends, who actually care and who will be happy to do things with you.

Well... Epilepsy won't go away but it's stable, Tietze Syndrome might go away in some unknown time (can take a few months or a few years, it's different per person) So basically I'm forced to deal with it pretty much a very long time, but oh well, at least I can still walk right? :P

Thanks. ^^ Yeah I agree with you, having a false sense of security is only meant for the weak in my opinion.

Hmm... if you want to leave perhaps you could live in the wilderness like some communities do, there's no society nor any human laws, just basic rules. (at least I THINK so) Else I'm not so sure if you can really leave society. It's pretty much everywhere. Though yes quite a few things about society are just wrong, there are also a few good things. I get money for not being able to work for instance, it allows me to still buy things I like. Though it's probably not enough to easily live on my own. But that's besides the point. You should try and find a community like that perhaps? I have no idea where to search though, but I saw a documentary on how it goes, it's quite different from society, so I thought I'd mention it.

You're welcome. ^^

I'll just have to correct that little mistake right now... That was not meant as an insult (that would have been very random), it was simply me not looking over my English well enough... "Are you saying you'd be stupid if you had my fighting spirit?" Dammit... Sorry. ^^ I meant to say that I might have been able to rise from being an idiot because of strong willpower and a will to see my dreams come true (had I been like you.) Hopefully I got it right now, I'm actually worried i messed up again.. So long as you know it wasn't meant as an insult.

About being offended.. yeah it's pretty ridiculous, what I'm about to bring up as an example here may not have anything to do with what we're talking about here but I still find the whole thing hilarious... There's this guy on YouTube who calls himself "DasBoSchitt", he uses Garry's Mod to create videos (entertaining ones, he's pretty well known I think). There was this one time when he used a ragdoll from Digimon, "Renamon" in his video where it was on fire.. apparently he upset an entire community... There's this sort of fan created thing called "furries" (I don't even know if that's how it's presented properly) and basically, people dress up and attend.. "meetings" or something. In the lower realms of the internet, there is also *********** of it... Anyways, there was this one guy who told BoSchitt that he needed to take pills after seeing his favorite digimon on fire. And so! A list was made... A list telling BoSchitt what he could not do to Renamon in any of his videos. He did all those things. So yeah... If people could stop being "offended" for 1 day, I think we would see interesting results.

Living in the wilderness sounds.. appealing... Obviously it would be very different from what I'm doing right now; sitting under a roof in a warm house in front of a computer. Think of the games I would miss! ^^ But it is as you say, it's pretty much everywhere. My friend talked of living on an island, only going to the "mainland" to get supplies and stuff like that. I doubt you'd be left alone however.. or maybe you would... He also suggested somewhere up high, asian inspired fortress on a mountain.. with internet! ><

Since you mentioned that I might be more interested in something more creative, I thought you should see this: http://youtu.be/jSpjIKl31mM
Maybe you weren't even talking about movie making but, there it is ;)
The movie is far from perfect, but it's my first proper movie made through Garry's Mod. What you're gonna see is pretty much my sense of humor, and I've been "dreaming" to start making these kinds of movies for quite some time, so maybe that's it...

Haha don't worry, even if it was meant as an insult I wouldn't have cared anyways, but I get what you mean now.

Hahaha now that is a ridiculous way to be offended right there! :P I love pokemon (yes anime and games) but I'd never be offended with a burning pikachu or something hahaha. :P

Hahaha, that's a funny suggestion! :P I got a better one! Why not create your own flying island complete with a mansion, amusement park and a trainstation, oh and internet too of course. :P As well as a way to descend to earth! xD

But yeah, you'd miss awesome games like Crazy RPG World I made haha. :P

I see... :P Well maybe that might be the case. Perhaps you love to create movies in which you can express your feelings and/or humour. ^^

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