Needing Help From Within

You are a GOOD person. I have never in my life seen someone put other's needs in front of your own the way you do. You have a heart that is a big as the world and that is something that is not found everyday. I have told you many times that i am envious of your looks. You got all the looks that I wanted. YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL! But what I haven't told you is that i am especially jealous of your fun loving personality. I lost that side of me many years ago. You seem to have fun no matter where you are and who you are with. This alone amazes me. I know you always put me in a good-laughing mood anytime we are together. Some the most hilarious (sometimes ****** up) moments in my life has been with you. And for that I am grateful. These are the memories that I look back on when I need a "pick me up" . I love you sis.

It sounds like you're trapped in that cycle of self-auditing every event and every action. It can be so exhausting... draining.
No, it doesn't do any good for someone to see you and say you are beautiful or attractive, you'll only say "If he only knew...", right? To admire your stories is wasted on you, because YOU know the admirer missed all the flaws that you didn't, couldn't, wouldn't get worked out.

To say you're sexy is wasted, because you know that someone who finds you sexy must be flawed himself... The cracks in the mirror begin to be larger than the MIRROR!!

But, dear lady, none of that is the truth... The truth is that yes, all of us are ugly and "stinky" at times. Our hair isn't right... we all have ::gasp:: BO sometimes. And if we're willing to HAVE real friends, then sometimes we're going to unintentionally (or INTENTIONALLY) hurt our friends - something we say, do or neglect. That's life for all of us - people like you and I who struggle with self image deal with the same poop that those "normal" people face every day.

Now... it may be that you intentionally put the toilet paper on the dispenser backward every time. Yeah, you just might be one of those people... I don't know you well enough to defend you against such an allegation. But what I'm seeing looks rather yummy. I know how hard it is. Been there... the burns were pretty bad. I can't wait to see you get free of all this though.

I am where you are now. I do think realizing is the first step. Am finally getting counselling, I don't know how it will go, and I'm kinda scared, but I know it's for the best. I know it's the only way to get my life back on track and to get happy. I hope you'll find that too, that happiness we all deserve. Hugs xxx

You sound so....
human.
You sound like most people, although you write better than most.
Write down the good thing people say about you. On bright colored paper or in bright colored marker. Place thes around your house. Let the truth sink in.

I've been true so many ups and downs, living in fear of myself and others and out of all the self help and spiritual ugggg answers so simple what's your purpose what's your goals ? What are. U planning to achieve this time next month x if your not improving learning , achieving goals then yes your going question yourself what do u want what's your passion, the little thing that brings happyness , your hidden talent that nobody knows about , don't be afraid don't hide it, it took me to meet my soulmate who didn't baby me, or tell me what I wanted to hear, you need to progress name goals achieve

I believe in you. You ask all the right questions and feel sensitive at the right time. Each day when you wake, think and say to yourself, today's going to be a great day. It's OK that you speak your mind, there will always be others to take offense at words, even actions that you make. I've run into that on Facebook, where sometimes I say something to one person and another is inadvertently hurt. If they love and respect you, they'll forgive it, if they don't they won't. Your life goes on, and you wil get happier as time goes forward. I like you and I don't even know, think how much more you love yourself whom you do know.

I don't know you, so I can't say whether you're a good person or not. But I will say that bad people don't generally display the amount of introspection you have shown in your story. People who are not good, or trying to be good at least, do not care how they hurt other people. You will recognize them as they go through life rude, uncaring and hostile while screaming that everyone is trying to change them and nobody accepts them "as they are".

If you are not seeing a therapist, do so if you can. I wish you peace.

I am where you are, and have been for as long as I can remember. But I finally am getting the help I have needed for years. It is from a very unconventional source, but doing things the normal way hasn't worked for me. You can and will find the ability to help yourself when you are ready to do so....I will hope for the best for you.

My dear, sweet, loveable friend,

I have been there, I am still there sometimes. I understand the fear of letting go, letting walls down and letting your self take the chance on loving and being loved in return. Its a difficult thing to do, especially when you have been damaged by taking that chance before.

I can PROMISE you though, it's so worth it. Letting those walls down, letting that fear go, allowing yourself the chance to breathe and be free and be human and make mistakes and stumble, it's the BEST feeling in the world. It's such a better way to live, so much lighter and happier (even when the bad things happen, from which you can then recover more quickly) then keeping yourself cooped up behind well fortified walls.

And yes, you need to learn to love and accept and be okay with yourself. I know it's not an easy thing to do, and it takes time and effort. I have finally come to that place myself within the last year or so ... but it's the best thing I have ever done for myself. I'm not perfect, I stick my foot in my mouth all the time, I accidentally hurt people and have to apologize for it ... but you know what? I'm human. It's okay. I'm also a good person and I care about my friends and want them to be happy. I like me, bat-crap crazy that I am.

I see all of those things in you. You are a beautiful soul and you need to keep reminding yourself of that.

Much love!!!
H

P.S. - I think you are GORGEOUS!!! Just sayin'

Read your first paragraph over and over. People do care about you and love you. You are pretty. You are a good person. Say that to yourself over and over!