Don't Go to Sleep Until 4-6am, Sleep Until 3pm

It's retarded, ridiculous, and frustrating. I'll stay up till all hours of the morning wasting my time away not doing anything productive or meaningful, and then finally go to bed between 3am and 7am and sleep ten hours (waking between 3pm and 5pm). Two things bother me about this: missing the day time, and sleeping for TEN hours. It's also not like I wake up all perky and happy with myself either. I don't feel bad, but I don't feel good either. My energy level is so-so, as is my alertness. I'm awake, but I feel a sense of grogginess in some corner of my brain. It's really embarrassing when people call me at 3pm and can tell that I just woke up. They're always totally shocked. I feel like some strange sort of leper. Why do I stay up so late? Why don't I have the normal overwhelming urge to fall asleep sometime before midnight and sleep until 8am or 9am? If I thought better at night: did a lot of productive writing, thinking, and studying, that'd be one thing. But I don't.

Here's what occurs to me: maybe a core issue at work here is that I live with my parents. Being almost 29 years old, I desire to have as much independence as possible. Staying up way past when they're awake is one way of achieving that sense of autonomy.

But see, I know it's not healthy, and I feel badly about myself doing it. Yet I change nothing.

That's the main area I show a distinct lack of self-control in. I suppose there's a lot of baggage to waking up at a normal time and going to sleep at a normal time. There's the feeling that I'd need to use my day productively (a frightening thought); there's the sense that I'd feel monitored by my mom (when I'm at home during the day); there's the sense that "oh ****! I'm an adult now.  I should be being successful and being serious and not having any fun..."

So, staying awake all night, sleeping all day, and generally avoiding doing anything productive is a way of putting off all that seriousness and the grind of adulthood. Granted, I, intellectually, know that being an adult doesn't have to be that way. But try telling that to my deep down beliefs I created as a child.
liferiot liferiot
26-30, M
2 Responses Jan 14, 2007

I feel you man!
I used to be terrible like that. I never wanted to go to sleep because I think unconsciously I knew
A - I wouldnt sleep and Id stay up mulling things over that I didnt want to face up to
B- Once I slept the next day would come and I'd have to do all the things i didnt want to do.

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