I Am My Own Worst Enemy!

I hear compliments from people around me all the time,everybody i know think that i am a beautiful and smart sexy woman,my husband is crazy about me and tells me that he feels lucky to have me in his life..you must be wondering what my problem is,well I am my problem!
I never felt good about myself,I hate the way i look and I think I am useless!
I worry about every single thing in my life,i get nervous about everything i m about to do for the first time because i convinve myself that i cant do it,that im not smart enough to get it done,this goes from the small day to day activities to the big important experiences in my life.
Everytime i m doing somthing for the first time,i have a serious panic attack,my heart starts beating so fast and i cant breath and i end up throwing up and thats when i feel better!
i have thousounds of negative thoughts in my head,i keep telling myself "i cant do this"... "i wanna run away".."im gonna embarass yourself".."im ugly".."im stupid"..
the thing is,I always end up getting  things done succesfully but i just hate all the anxiety and stress i feel before,it really kills me but i have no control over it,i try to think positivly but it never lasts for too long.
I also never feel comfortable around people i just met,i get very nervous and cant even make eye contact with them,speaking in public is somthing i cant see myself doing,I gave few presentations when i was in school and iv always had a hard time with that.
I wanna stop this but i have no idea what to do,I wanna relax and be normal to have a better life pleaaaase help me
calibay calibay
1 Response Sep 20, 2010

Frabkly all this anxiety of yours is actually a moral booster for you. This anxiety makes you to achive what you do. This shows you take your work seriously. Start feeling better about you.. only you can do that... :)