I Am Really Different And Somehow Lonely...

Hello guys!
I am a 16 year old girl, that was been bullied and beated at school for being foreign and chubby,i had severe financial problems that year,my parents got divorced,we ran from our home town and moved in a different continent...when i finally managed to get friends after 1 year of starvation and hard workout i managed to look better,but them when our financial situation got better i had food and started to gain weight slowly (i have a really bad metabolism) and now i've been keeping a 1000/day calorie diet and going to the gym 3 times a week,i managed to lose a little weight, but whenever i convince my self i look better i get to see my best friend at school (she has slim long legs,beautifull long hair,flat belly,big breasts,green eyes,perfect skin) which is pretty much perfect and all the guys are always hitting on her and stuff,and whenever i am around her i feel really poor (because she has a better financial situation than i do)she can afford beautiful clothing,make up,hair products and other stuff,and sh is more beautiful,and all i get is hard work and no reults,that always makes me a little depressive but that's not the main problem..the thing is i have pretty different thinking than everyone i've ever met,no one seemed to understand me ever,my mom always works she barely comes home,my sister and i always fight because she never does any house work and i have to waste my time cooking and cleaning and have no time left to study...i have a tough life and i need someone to be with me...i have tried getting into a relationship,but they didn't last more than 10 days because i always feel uncomfortable and different,but i also feel lonely when i am not in a relationship...I AM SO CONFUSED AND DEPRESSED..i had a few situations where i tried commiting suicide but somehow i thought ..."maybe i can solve this...just a little longer,if you still can't we will do it".

so any advice would be welcome,and thank you guys! i am really happy i can confess these things to someone!
97Lifemelody 97Lifemelody
18-21, F
1 Response Dec 10, 2012

how different are you? can you describe that? in fact, she is very boring.

well ,i am not the kind that would shower you in passion and love in a relashionship ,i am more likely to make you feel unwanted even if you aren't,and i can't stand needy people,i like showing people love in simple ways.I hate dramas,i always try to laugh at the situations i am in and find easy solutions,never be too serious,and usually end up being called immature and ignored.I love being original,i can't stand people who would copy me and get the credit for what i did.I like doing stuff that others consider "boring" like reading or listening to classic rock music,and i usually like doing things by myself so i have always been considered weird. I have different thinking because i have always studied religions and came to the conclusion that i am an athiest,so i have my own ideas that others can consider weird and unrealistic so i cannot have a real conversation with anyone without being considered weird or lets say "different".