Want To Be In Diapers ForeverWell, as there are now stories here yet, I guess I will be the first. I guess this is just one step in my regression. For ages I used to wet my pants and panties when I was alone. I kept that a secret for many, many years. Then I was encourage to share this with my husband so I wouldn't have to hide as before. And I did tell him. And, to my great delight, he suggested I wear diapers, to protect the furniture he said. I was on the road and at our nearest CVS within 5 minutes! I had wanted to wear diapers before, see what they were like, but was afraid to get any; where would I put them, how could I hide them? And now I had the 'key to the kingdom', I could get diapers with his blessing!
So, as I stood in the incontinence aisle at our nearest CVS, feeling somewhat exposed and embarassed, my mind working frantically on a back up story, "for my mom", "for my grandmother", I searched the aisle, reading all the packages, looking for something really good and absorbent. I found what I wanted and walked steadfastly to the register, feeling red creeping up my neck to my face, what was I going to say when they asked who they were for. But, all the chekcer did was scan them, put them in a bag, and take my money. I was out of there like a shot and back home in minutes. I took them upstairs and just looked at them for a moment. (I swear I could hear angels singing in the background!) I quickly opend the pachage and pulled out my first diaper, a pull-up. I quickly ******** to my birthday suit and slipped on the pull-up. Oh, what a glorious feeling! I knew this would not be my last diaper. And, as if on cue, my bladder relaxed and I was peeing my first diaper! After that I soon found diapers on the internet and order them from there, trying several different kinds, looking for the ones I like best, finding plastic pants as well. I started reading about AB's and DL's. I was pretty much DL at this point, but I was wearing the diapers almost all the time I was at home, to my husband's disgust. But, he gave me the key to the kingdom, he couldn't take it back now. Although he did do his best to belittle me.
Andthen one day I found an adult pacifier on line and had to have it! It was a bit strange at first, since I was never a thumb-sucker as a child, nor did I use a paci as a child. BUt I soon learned to enjoy it and would go to sleep sucking on it. I still have that paci and now use it almost every night as I lay down to go to sleep. This was my first step toward becoming an AB, although I didn't realize it at the time or think about it in those terms then. As time passed, I enjoyed the babyish-ness of being in diapers. And now that I am on my own, soon-to-be-divorced, I have started exploring my AB side. I have ordered some onesies and bottles. I have a teddy bear I sleep with. And to complete the regression to AB, that means being in diapers 24/7. Babies don't think about when or where they have to or should go potty, they potty in their diapers. I want to stick to just wetting my diapers. And over the last couple of months, my bladder has shrunk and I am losing control of my bladder. I can't remember the last dry night I had. And just a couple of days ago, I actually wet my diaper during a nap! That was a first and a good sign that I am getting closer to my goal. I have even been wetting my diaper while at work, just when I feel the need to pee relaxing and letting go. No trying to hold it. Babies don't worry about trying to hold it or waiting for a work break. And if you are trying to be incontinent and in diapers 24/7, whether you want to be AB or just in diapers, that is good advice. Don't try to hold it, just relax and let go. I have even had a couple of minor unforseen wettings in my diapers and was glad I had them on.
So my days of wearing panties are over. I am in diapers 24/7 now. I'm not completely incontinent yet, but I think if I were to try to go back to wearing panties I might have some embarassing accidents! I plan to stay in diapers, and use them for what they were intended for as long as possible. And if that eventually means telling other co-workers or my bosses that I am incontinent and have to use diapers, then that is just the way it will be. Diapers rule! I should just take a pair of scissors to my panties now and then there will be no temptation to revert back. But I don't think I will be tempted to do that. I am set on my course and happy with it.
I would love to hear what others readers think, so please post your comments.
polonium 41-45, F 19 Responses 10 Nov 12, 2010