Hurt.

i still am in love with him, every thought i have is because of him and everywhere i look when im at school is him, its an endless cycle and my friends say they see him looking and drooling at me, and one guy, or his best friend lied and said that he didnt like me wen he totally does. i see him look at me in class and i noe he feels for me too. but one girl he got with, his very first girlfrien0, dumped him, they were bestfriends. and she ruined it because shes a selfish *****. she told all her friends, including me, she never even liked him, she was just feeling bad for him, and i swear, i wanted to smack her. and yet, hes not even mad. one of his closest friends likes her and they hang out now and i see the hurt in his eyes. and how badly i want to take that away. hes my first love. and this story is so messed up. its so sad the way he is now. he cant even hang out with his old friends anymore, because of her. i want her to hurt because of all the pain she caused him.

tomorrow is a school celebration and we're both gonna hang out with our friends, and long to be next to each other. i noe i can take the pain in his eyes away, but its yet to happen. and im to afraid to tell him. though we've been through alot, hes stilll one of my close friends. he told one guy that we're just good friends and that when i go to my next class, im excited to see him. i crave his very presence. its a sick, sick crush and i need him out of my life so i can be happy. well, i noe why its called a crush now. and it surely hurts. could love be any less painful? i believe not, hes still hurting me even though my friends think ive moved on. and i cant even talk to them about it.