1 Year On.

Well, it is now a year sinse my first love. Yer, ok, it only lasted six weeks... but it was the happyest 6 weeks I had had in a long LONG time.

Over the past year I have.... digested the expirence... One thing I worked out ealy on after it, is that I wanted to be a father. I guess its only natral anyway, being the oldest of 10, but... it was not untill I had a girlfrined that I thought about it.

The seconed thing I discovered is that I can be... an ***.... only once in our relashonship did I make a mistake. It was not what we broke up over tho. However, even after she forgave me for it, even now, I still feel gulty for it.

I also found out I was very good at text sex. lol.... I made her happy telling her, in detail, what I would do to her... she loved every minite of it. :).......

I also lernt that I am... scared... of what people I love think of me... see, it was long distence... and, even tho I could have, I never went to see her.... In part I was scared I would do something around her.... anything... and muck it up.... the other part was that I got scared that, if she sore me in person, she would get turned off due to my whight... Now I regret never meeting her, always thinking 'maybe if I had gone, and seen her, we would still be together'........

Probubly the biggest thing I discovered was that when I love someone as much as I loved her..... I would do anything to make her happy..... why?

Well, the reson we broke up is becuse she wanted to go back to her ex... she said she loved him..... I said it was ok.... I told her that I loved her, and wanted her to be happy... I said if I was not making her happy, she should go to her ex. I was happy, but sad.... I was not jealose... not one bit... I was just thankfull she had let me be hers for thos six weeks.... six weeks of wounderfull, butiful love. At least for me.
Jagji56 Jagji56
18-21
2 Responses Aug 7, 2010

Thank you Nubian. :) I have been though a lot in my life, due to health reasons, and when I found her, it was like that light at the end of a tunnel... It was good while it lasted. Just wish I could move on. my problem now is that I am looking for love to hard... and kind of ******* friendships up a bit because of it... sigh.

Wow what a nice story. You sound like a really nice guy. Mature too. Thats the most important thing about relationships - to learn something from them when they end and have the strength to let them go. Its also really hard. You should be proud of yourself. :)