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For The Next

What I learned from my first love was to not turn into a selfish jerk. In my eyes in that point of time I just wanted her to myself. I felt I was protecting her from the "evil" world. I now know not to do that to my next. I'll let that person be as free as a bird. A wise person(the highschool nurse) once told me, "don't try and cage the bird for when it learns how to open the cage it'll never come back.". I should have heed the warning but I was to blind to follow the rule of thumb. I do know what can happen by doing this and its worth a shot. I need to find MY median and if it means having to get hurt then so be it.
Daphney1001 Daphney1001 18-21, M 1 Response Jan 24, 2012

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thats a really good quote. a similar one is one of my favorites, i had to learn it well too. i used to be really dependent on my relationships and found i always held on far too tightly and ended up smothering whoever i was with in the end..only from fear of losing them.. the quote is..<br />
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relationships are like a pile of sand held in the palm of your hand, held loosely with faith and trust, the sand will remain how it is.. but the minute you try to grasp it and hold on too tightly it will trickle through your fingers and be lost.

That is how my last relationship failed. I loved her too much I damn near became her parent :/ I only wanted the best for her but only smothered her. and that is a GREAT quote.

thank you! i read it in a chicken soup book ..years ago.. if only i really "took it as a rule of thumb" as well i may have been able to have helped my own situation as well.

another thing you should look into too is if she was giving you the right affection back though, if the love isn't even, it makes it really hard on the other side. you can tell when you love the person more than they love you , and it only makes you crave it more.. if they can't give you what you need

i found the actual key being that you need to make yourself happy first though, and not "need" anything, to be able to enjoy them, not rely on them.. i just wrote a story on it tonight actually

chicken soup for the soul? i read most of that one. they have a few books i think. and it was equal love until I grew to love her more and it seems to me i smothered her affection out before she had a chance to show her strengthening care. i see it as my fault and i truely believe it was my fault. Ive tried to see it many different ways but it all comes back to being my fault. im in the process of completely getting over her and writing stories and confessions helps me out a lot :)