First Love. When Will It Die?


It is such a strong word that up until now, no definition gives justice to what it really means.

They said that the first love never dies. I have experienced my first love two years ago. I cannot exactly when but it was two years ago that I've felt the happiest time of my life.

We started out as best friends. She is everything - She's my teacher, my best friend, the sister that I never had, my companion in sadness, joy and my solace.

Everything fell into place and I can finally say that I am happy and complete.

But like they say, all good things come to an end. Due to a lot of complications, fights and misunderstandings, we parted ways. I was still scarred and I cannot get over up until now. She's my first love and I cannot force myself to pursue another girl especially when I once told her that she is everything.

I've learned so much. They say that letting go means you have loved best, and because I love her so much, I let her go and let her pursue new happiness.

Now, I am stuck on my first love and I cannot move on. I miss her more and more each day that we have no communication. I miss how her hand fits perfectly with mine and I miss the laughs, the long talks and the romantic moments.

I cannot move on. But I know, somewhere in time, I will be able to and I wish I could find a new way to be happy.
kaaru kaaru
22-25, M
4 Responses Mar 12, 2007

Wow, nicely said. I really think only time will be able to heal me. I am on the stage of accepting what happened, and I know, eventually, I will be able to fully move on.

I wish you all the best with moving on.<br />
I know for sure though that you will move on only when you CHOOSE to do so.<br />
letting go is no easy task, but when you are ready to, trust me, nature has it's way cleaning up its course.<br />
The same way it broke you, it will also mend you.

Yeah, learning to move on is very hard. It's affecting my everyday routine. Life is really dull without that someone who, for two years, made it complete.<br />
<br />

As you yourself admitted, that first love never truely dies out. But you can learn to move on, and continue living. Perhaps even find something better, or unexpected. (or perhaps, even not. But only you can determine that.) However, you're not alone. It took about 7 yrs. for me to fully move on, and on occaton even now, a sprig of memory comes back to tease my mind.