Pumping Love

My first real love was a boy I met when working at the local gas station. I was just starting college, and took a job there, I was a novelty, and he was a cutie. He was 2 years younger than me, which totally embarassed me. We went out for a few years, talked about getting married, but ultimately, we were just too different. We kept in touch,    and we both continue to call each other when we get very drunk. Then we think we can get back together, but when we sober up, we realize it is better not to. I even took his number out of my phone book- but alas, a simple call to 411 will get it back for me every time.

We never really consider getting back together as a couple. I think part of that is we have  travelled in different paths. He did end up getting married very shortly after our breakup. After us going out for years, and not being able to figure it out-this was the textbook rebound relationship. He even invited me. And my sister. And she WENT! How messed up is that.

It took me a long time to get over that whole thing- and I guess a part of me is still pissed off. Anyway- the marriage did not last long at all (less than a year). He called, but I just could never give myself over in the same way. So, I guess I pushed away, and didn't allow myself to get back into a relationship that wasn't going to work. Then we stopped contact for a while- I got very involved with someone else.

I know there was a point in time, where I absolutely could have made a decision to get back together with him- but I chose not to. I don't mind keeping in touch, getting together in a non commital way- but by keeping a distance, I know that I can sort of have control over the relationship. I know that doesn't make sense, but it is how it has to be. Also, I mentioned before, that we had taken different paths, and this is very true. He still parties, has no responsibility, and works in his family business. I want to be more grown up! Well, I know that's not a pretty ending, maybe not an ending at all- but that's the whole honest truth!

dirtylittlesecret dirtylittlesecret
3 Responses Feb 12, 2006

some relationships are just not met to be.

Never marry someone you don't know

Some people are just in one's life to teach and help the other grow. I think being in a relationship with him made you "want to be more grown up". <br />
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One wise professor once told me... with every partner you go out with the better you are at knowing what you want and what you don't want in a partner. Get out there, live and date! Have fun and get to know yourself and what is best for you.<br />
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To me this sounds like a happy ending (transition) as you know more of what you want both in your life and in your partner. *hugs*