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The Love That Was Never Meant To Be

I never believed in love. Not because I couldn't find someone to fall in love with (or at least I believed that), but the sheer idea of being head-over-heels for someone seemed downright stupid to me. Putting someone else ahead of you, it was beyond logic.

But one day, my whole world changed. The window of my belief through which I looked at the world stood broken that moment. The moment when I first saw her. Six years ago. I couldn't believe that this was happening to me. It was a coup d'etat. My heart taking over what my brain had controlled thus far. **** logic! I was in love. I had to go and tell her. But before I could gather my guts, she was gone. I had no idea who she was, or where she lived. I had found a girl worth being stupid, and the very next I moment I lost her. It was love's revenge for not believing in it.

I couldn't stop thinking about her. I sometimes wished if I could see her again. I would go, tell her how I feel and never let the moment pass by. Oh I wish!

I never knew that wishes do come true. And how! I was at a stadium, watching a cricket match. Among 50,000 odd people, there she was. Sitting a few rows ahead of me. Wow! Everything else ceased to exist that very moment. It was just her. Watching her cheering the Indian Cricket team, jumping and shouting was the most beautiful spectacle after Sachin's batting. I asked my cousin, who was accompanying me, to check her out. And that was the time he said the most meaningful words he had ever said to me. 'She is my family-friend. I know her.'

I could not believe what was happening. Cupid was doing all he could to make this happen. Cupid's agent, my cousin, introduced me to her during the game. We shared a smile. I still have that smile imprinted somewhere in my mind. Now that I had a link to her, I decided not to make any hurried move that moment. I was content with just a smile. Though India lost that match, I went home with a win.

Cupid still was eager to make his name. I couldn't believe all this. The next day, I found her enrolling at the same coaching institute that I used to go. Wow! I suddenly had a strong chance. It was destiny. i could hear destiny whispering in my ears. SHE WAS MINE. The game was set.

After a few days of exchanging 'Hi' and awkward smiles, I decided to take matters to my hand. I went to her and asked her out. It was the first time that I was doing that. I was a bit nervous, but had destiny backing me up.

I was confident of a positive response, until I see her frown. She didn't say what I expected. It made her furious. I don't remember what she said, gladly. But it was over. I tried to keep a smile, and moved away.

When  I was alone, I felt a teardrop rushing down my cheeks. I was crying. I didn't want to stop. I wanted the tears to carry her out of me. I wanted to cry every bit of her. After some time, the tears stopped but I was never the same. I was so broken that I couldn't face her ever again. I couldn't go back to that coaching institute. So instead of going there, I started to spent my time sitting near a lake. Reflecting my thoughts in the water. I had my career at risk. But I didn't care.

Then it was Valentine's day. I had my entrance examinations for an engineering degree in a few days too. Frustration was growing stronger. I needed someone to talk to. I called a radio station. The jockey promised me that she would help set me up with her, if I work hard and score good marks at the exam. That would really help me impress her. I know that the idea was stupid, but I still wanted to believe in it. It was my only chance.

For the next 15 days, I studied day and night. I put in all the effort I could without feeling tired. I had to do this. And I actually did. I cracked the examination and got to the best university of the region. Love really brings out the best of you!

Now having scored good marks, a seat in the best engineering college of the region, I was all set to get her. But soon I realized the very stupidity of the idea. It hadn't affected my chances of being with her. It would have only made things worse if I could have made a second move. I decided not to pursue her. And tried hard to let time wash away the memories. And time really did a good job at doing that.

But a few days ago,I saw her again. All those memories were alive again. Back like a phoenix. But something was different. I didn't believe in destiny anymore. It was a mere coincidence. A random event. 
theaverageindian theaverageindian 22-25, M 1 Response Feb 16, 2013

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I have a few years on you, so let's assume I can see around some corners you haven't turned yet. Having such a strong reaction to a particular person is rare and significant (even you admit there are plenty of people around to fall in love with) and so is the way this woman keeps appearing on your horizon. There is a message there, and it is definitely worth finding out what it is. If you get the chance to speak to her, I hope that you do. Swallow your pride and do it. If you get shut down again, it will help you move past her to see her in a clearer light. You will be no worse off than you are today. And maybe you won't be shut down this time...people can suprise you. But convincing yourself its nothing, and then wondering what if, is like a big sack of rocks you could be carrying forever. It is worth one more risk to avoid that.
Love doesn't smack you in the head like this very often in one lifetime. If it is still on your heart, go find out the truth.
Great post, good luck. May all your hard work at school pay off too!