Heartache In Paris

It all started, or should I say ended, when I flew back to Paris for my final year of college. Each of the previous times when I had flown in from my 2 month hiatus (visiting my family) to the states, I could see the joy in her eyes when we'd first lock gazes.

This time was different, her ambivalence to my presence caught me completely off guard. I knew something was up but I didn't look to much into it, I was back in Paris and it was my final year of college!!! Apparently her summer abroad brought new light into her life and she wasn't happy with our relationship. She claimed she was too dependent on me and she needed some time to think about things. What really happened was she fell out of love and wanted to date other guys.

Our 2 1/2 year relationship quickly dissipated, the sex got gradually worse and worse, we constantly fought, and one day while we were having a house party I caught a glimpse of a text message that she was writing this guy from our school, "I miss you too." Those 4 words killed me.

Soon after I moved out of her house and into an apartment with a couple of friends from Virginia. We mutually decided to "take a break," what a bunch of crap!! The only person that wants to take the break is the person who initiates the idea. I was still in love with her but I thought I would agree, give her a month to fail and then come back to me.

Never happened, jealousy took over, I would call her every couple of days, trying to bring up the good ol' days, and in reality basically begging her to come back. This continued for 2 months, I would take her out to lunch, I would constantly take her out to wherever she wanted, essentially I became her slave.

She milked me, she had no intentions of ever coming back. One day while we were eating lunch, I popped the question.

"So are we ever going to get back together?"

She replied, "No, this break has been good and I want to continue."

I put my heart, soul, and pocketbook in trying to get her back and she totally abused me. Soooo, I went off at her in the restaurant.

That was the last time we formally talked, I've ran into her once or twice, a quick hi was all that was exchanged. I was heartbroken for 7 months, I didn't date anyone, I almost failed my classes. But I got over it. It took a lot of time, a lot of tears, a lot of encouragement from friends and a lot and a lot of other things.

She was my first love, but not my last, I grew up, I saw my mistakes, and in truth I'm glad things didn't work out. She's given me so much insight, it's unfortunate that it was gained so painfully but in the end I've become a much stronger person.

I hope this helps someone, :)
Lisbon5 Lisbon5
22-25, M
3 Responses Feb 13, 2006

not even love from Paris will last a lifetime.

yes it did,,thanx :) A LOT! :))

Thanks, that did help. I recently started the path toward retaking myself from my ex a couple of months ago, but only after a full year of hell during which I was her emotional security blanket when something was wrong with her new relationship. It got to the point where some days I would not eat to help save money for the train tickets to go see her, even though she had plenty of money and almost never came to visit me. Man, I was being used...but I definitely learned something!