Doormats And Guitars

Love is a finicky thing to someone who has never experienced it before.  What resources should I trust?  Should I take advice?  Is my ‘experience’ solely based on hearsay and movies?  Then came the wonder of the fear of being hurt by misplacing my heart’s desires.  Atop of that came the insecurities of whether the other person would love me back and whether I would be good at loving her in the first place. 


A few girls had been attracted to me, and most of the time I had turned them down.  I wasn’t interested in a relationship, but disappointing them was so incredibly hard.  But when I was 16, a girl had been pursuing me for a while, and I sadly stopped hesitating and began a relationship.  I do not regret what I learned, but I wish I could have done without the heartache of having her starting up with another guy after almost two and a half years of dating in less than a week’s time.


What I learned was simple:  you can’t be a doormat and want everything to be for the other person.  Well, you can, but it truly only works if you they are as devoted to meeting your needs as you are to meeting theirs.  This is sadly a rare thing to find, it seems.


Another thing my first experience with love taught me was how to play guitar.  Odd to say, but I took it up in hopes of impressing her (as she also played guitar).  What I learned is that if you develop a knack for something they are already good at, don’t show them up if you become better at them in one regard…  She had been taking lessons and showed me something she had been working on in a while.  I watched her play it, and then played it myself.  I don’t believe we ever played guitar again after that.


Overall, don’t be a doormat, and don’t be a show-off.

renough renough
22-25, M
2 Responses Aug 30, 2006

my heart is with you. i know what it feels like when you are truely in love for the first time. <br />
<br />
only that he left me for someone else while i was hoping to work something out between us.

Man, I could have told you that! Lol. (about the guitair thang)<br />
xxx