I Learned Something About My Past

I married very young.  16 to be exact.  Of course it didn't last, but I tried and very much wanted it to.  Today I read an entry in my former husband's blog.  It really upset me.  He had answered some questions to a quiz.  One was "What was the worst thing you ever did?"  His response - "Got married".  It took me aback!  While we didn't get married under the best of circumstances, I always thought that if one of the people truly loved the other, things would work out.  A 16 year old's naivete'.  Even after our divorce, I tried to find the best in him.  There was a lot to admire and respect.  I really did love him and it was hard for me to accept that anyone would marry if they weren't truly in love.  Today I learned everyone doesn't necessarily marry for love.  I resented the fact that he counted our marriage as the worst thing he ever did.  I mean, if nothing else, we got three fantastic, precious children out the deal.  But after the sting of the insult, I've come to realize that I agree with him!  It was the worst thing he ever did....Because he took 14 blissful years that I could have had with my current life mate.  One who truly DOES love me and I him.  Of all the crappy things he did and said to me, the worst thing he ever did was delay my meeting my true love.  I'll be forever grateful to you for giving me 3 beautiful, smart, successful children, but you're right, husband #1....marrying me was the WORST thing you've ever done. 

MountainMuddah MountainMuddah
51-55, F
2 Responses May 27, 2007

No, he meant just that, and told me during our marriage on a very regular basis. It just took me 14 years to determine that he was "serious" and not kidding. It broke my heart, but as I say, I was 16 when we married and very naive. To this day, I acknowledge his opinion, but have come to be very grateful that we parted ways. Thank you so much for your comment! Hope to hear from you again!

You have to wonder if he really meant it. "Got Married" is such a typical answer for that kind of question. I think people say it because they think it's funny to be cynical. I'm divorced. I would never disrespect my ex by saying something like that, and I certainly would never mean it. Ask him about it. I bet he would give you a completely different answer.